


Check Yes Naminé

by lenekoneko



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: F/M, Fanfiction, check yes namine, kingdom hearts - Freeform, le neko neko, namitas, namitasel, vannami
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-27
Updated: 2013-03-27
Packaged: 2017-12-06 16:09:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 27,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/737599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lenekoneko/pseuds/lenekoneko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I wasn't really looking at the road I was driving. And when you don't look at the road when you drive, it leads to accidents. Accidents means trouble. And trouble means debt. And debt means you would have to pay for the damages. So when I suddenly crashed into the back of a black Hummer, I knew I was in trouble. Uh-oh...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Natalie Ridley

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome welcome readers! Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, gays and lesbians, jerks and bitches…how ya doin? I'd doubt you'd know but this is a little based on "Two Weeks Notice" by Marc Lawrence. Does somebody know that awesome movie? :D
> 
> Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix - Tetsuya Nomura

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't really looking at the road I was driving. And when you don't look at the road when you drive, it leads to accidents. Accidents means trouble. And trouble means debt. And debt means you would have to pay for the damages. So when I suddenly crashed into the back of a black Hummer, I knew I was in trouble. Uh-oh...
> 
> Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix

 

 

 

 

**Episode I – Natalia Samantha Eris "Naminé" Ridley**

  
****THE SHE-POV** **

* * *

"…so in other words, Scott—Severus something dumped you?"

" _ **Naminé…! It's Seifer for god's sake! And yes,"**_ someone sniffled from the other line.  _ **"He dumped me."**_

"I told you a thousand times, Katherine—"

"— _ **Kairi!—"**_

"—that guy was just a playboy. This is the 53rd time girl. And seriously, where the hell did "Kairi" come from?"

" _ **Oh yeah? Where did "Naminé" come from, huh, Natalie**_ _ **?"**_

"Touché."

So here goes my best friend for life, Katherine Lois Rhapsodos, also known as Kairi, a red-haired girl I met in high school (who also started calling herself my best friend) ranting her heart out for some gold-digging guy who she went out with for just a _ **week.**_ Kairi never learns. I told her to not stick with the bad boys. Why, they were only no-good people anyway! I don't get why people, well some of them I guess, prefer the bad boys over the good guy ones. Sure, they're attractive and all, but never faithful and responsible…like, was it Shane? Lucifer? Pacifier? Ah. Like I care. No matter how hard Katherine gets hurt, she surprisingly gets over them fast. And fast I mean in 3 days time. And this, is not an exception.

"— _ **and then I saw him making out with that girl! Gross!"**_

"So now what?" I asked. She knew damn well I didn't listen, which only provided more of my amusement when she shrieked at the other line.

" _ **You didn't listen to me again you bitch!"**_

I laughed. "Who'd want to listen to your rants anyway? I've heard them  _thousands_ of times, best friend. And trust me, they're boring."

" _ **Ugh! You're so mean! And Seifer was really attractive too…with that sexy scar and that hair…ooh! And his muscles! And—"**_

"Whoa, whoa! Stop with the details, sister! That's too much!"

Kairi laughed at the other line. That's one of her problems. Kairi was too much of the "girly girl" type. And I wasn't. I never really liked those frilly dresses, make-ups and the feet torturer; high heels. I wondered how me and Kairi got along. Guess the "opposites attract" huh?

Well anyway, enough of those crap. My name is Natalie Ridley. I have blonde hair, blue eyes, and I'm 5'3. I indulge in daily doses of caffeine at Starbucks. My friends and family call me Naminé. Well then, since you're reading a story about yours truly, you can call me that too. Oh yeah, I forgot, I'm still at Starbucks, drinking Espresso while waiting for Kairi. This is our activity when she gets dumped again—meet up and order cakes. Cakes or cookies. Whichever is best.

It's just the same way everyday—wake up, prep up, work, work, work, drink coffee, then go home. I can't go home without coffee. Trust me; you'd never want to see me without any caffeine in my system. Unless you're prepared to see a witch.

I live in a city called Radiant Garden. It's nice. Nuff said.

Oh yeah, 2 more things; I'm single and not interested. So back off.

I never really cared about relationships. Sure I dated someone—his name was Roxas—before, buuuuuuuut that was way behind. So, no. I'm on hiatus for a relationship.

Kairi and her sister had been persistent too—setting me up on blind dates without my knowledge. But the date always ends up with the guy running off crying. Don't. Ask.

They still didn't give up.

"Naminé!"

Speak of the angel.

Kairi ran to me in her ridiculously 5-inch high heels. Who the hell would run in those…things?

So today, she was wearing short shorts, and a pink mini-dress with  _eyeliner and lipstick_. Bleh. Add that Dolce and Gabanna shades as well by the way.

"Namiii~!"

I forgot how tight Kairi's hugs were.

* * *

"More Banana Sundae please!" Kairi demanded at the too-delighted waiter.

"Right away!"

I was very much used to Kairi's "dessert vents". What, years of knowing her and being her best friend earn you some brownie points. Even when she was on a diet, she'd break it by ordering shitload amounts of cakes, cookies, and ice cream until she was satisfied. The good thing is that she always pays, so it's freeeeeeeeeee for me! See how I benefit in this friendship?

"Ugh. I can't believe in men anymore! They're all the same." Kairi grunted from across me.

"You always say that Kai. For all we know you'll be off with another man claiming "He's the one! He's the one!" Geez."

"I-I…! I do not! You lie Natalie!"

I laughed. Hanging out with her was never boring. As soon as her sundae arrived, she was back to shoving the spoon down her throat. Honestly, who can digest all that ice cream in just an hour?

"How 'bout you Naminé?" she suddenly asked, and I was very much aware of the sly smirk on her fair face. Crap.

"What do you mean?" I tried to act dumb. Blondes are dumb after all.

"Oh you know~how was that guy, Hayner? Did you hook up?"

"Not a chance. The guy barely talked to me!"

Either the guys I got on a date with are too shy or uninterested. Like this guy.

"God! Seriously?" she threw her arms out in exasperation while I sipped my ginger tea calmly. "What is  _ **wrong**_ with you Natelie? You're smart, you're beautiful, and you're charming! I don't get why no one is so…so…ugh!"

And there goes her ranting again.

" _ **Katherine,**_ I told you. I'm not interested. You and Xion are the only ones who kept setting me up anyway!"

"But you weren't so serious back then." She pouted. "Remember Roxas? You two were so sweet and adorable back then!"

"Are we seriously going to talk about him again? Past is past, already."

I hated talking about any of my exes. Well, I hated talking about my EX. Only one, doofuses. Roxas was no exception. Roxas and I were going strong for 2 years, but he suddenly broke it off through  _Facebook._ I mean, how stupid is that?

"Fine." She glared at me childishly. "Have it your way then!"

Hallelujah!

* * *

After we separated ways (and me having some on-the-go latte), I hopped inside my car and took off, not wanting to be late for the next episode of The Simpsons…what? Why are you looking at me like that? It's hilarious! And I love that show! Don't you?

Oh well.

As I drove, my phone rang. I tried to ignore the stupid ringing in my pocket. The ringtone belonged to  _her…_ and  _her_ I mean  _her._ Larxene. My bitchy, bossy boss. I'm going to regret picking that up huh?

And stupid me, I did pick it up.

"Yeah?"

" _ **Blondie,"**   _Talk about hypocrite.  _ **"You're in charge tomorrow. I'll be going away for a vacation."**_

"At this time?"

" _ **Duh. And it's going to take 3 months."**_

Bitch.

"3 months? Boss, I can't manage  _everything_ you do!" I tried to reason, but she scoffed. "You know I'm clumsy! Why not just let Marluxia do it?"

" _ **He's going with me, so, YOU'RE the last choice."**_

"Dmitri?"

" _ **Hell no! He'll screw everything up! I do NOT want to come back to a company that's half destroyed."**_

Last one. If this doesn't work I'll sell my soul to the she-devil…

Don't let her hear that.

"…Axel?"

Click.

She hanged up on me.

Make that double bitch.

As I put away my phone, I wasn't really looking at the road I was driving. And when you don't look at the road when you drive, it leads to accidents. Accidents mean trouble. And trouble means debt. And debt means you would have to pay for the damages. So when I suddenly crashed into the back of a (expensive-looking) black Hummer…you know what.

Oh, and, add a pissed-off looking handsome guy with gravity-defying black hair who stepped out of said Hummer, just crap.

Fan-fucking-tastic.


	2. He Who Has Gravity Defying Hair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't really looking at the road I was driving. And when you don't look at the road when you drive, it leads to accidents. Accidents means trouble. And trouble means debt. And debt means you would have to pay for the damages. So when I suddenly crashed into the back of a black Hummer, I knew I was in trouble. Uh-oh...
> 
> Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix

**  
Episode II - He Who Has Gravity** **Defying Hair**

**THE HE-POV**

* * *

 

"...come on bro. One last time, please?"

"No, Sora. I had enough of spicy food."

"But you used to like them don't you!?"

"Keyword: USED TO. Now get your ass out of my office!"

"Bro! Do it for me!"

"I owe you enough you bastard!"

We stopped when someone came in. My secretary, Alicia. She was red-faced; obviously blushing. Pfft. I know I'm hot. You don't have to blush darling.

"Um, sir Vanitas, someone wanted to give this to you..." she said shyly.

My brother, Sora peeked over my shoulder and raise a brow at the small white parcel my secretary brought in for me. I wonder who gave it to me and what was inside it. Cake, maybe? If so then I'm so in for it.

"What's this?" Sora yanked the box from my hands and shook it. "What the hell? I can't hear a thing!" he whined. I rolled my eyes.

"Leave, Alicia."

"Anymore you'd like me to help you with, sir?"

"No thanks."

"I insist—"

"Say another word, you're fired." I hissed. I always hated annoying women like her.

"C-certainly." Wow she's dumber than I thought!

"You're fired. Get out." I said simply, while Sora merely waved at her, still focused on  _my_ gift.

Sora rolled his eyes as she ran out, before he pranced to where I sat behind my desk and slammed the box down on the table. I glared at him.

"Earth to dumbass, it's glass. Don't just slam it like that."

"Bitch please. Here's your  _gift_." he laughed, and plopped himself down on my couch by the door. 

I thought he'd NEVER shut up. I looked at the box in front of me and decided to stop wasting precious time and opened it. 

I immediately scowled.

"Fuck! This is disgusting!"

"Okay, what is it now?" Sora grinned and cracked his knuckles

I twitched at the sight of my brother, stood up and chucked the stupid box of USED underwear at him. The idiot dodged it though. I should've been faster…

"Gross! Geez Vanitas! Aren't these women's underwear? You dirty old man!"

"No shit, Sherlock." I rolled my eyes and glared at him. "And fuck it Sora; I'm not old. I'm 27. Like YOU are." I snarled.

"Like me? I'm young, and wild and free!"

"Tch."

Sora needs to learn how to respect people. I'm his older twin for god's sake (even for a few minutes only, get off my back already)! So today, I received a box of disgusting, used underwear from this woman I picked up last night. I think her name was Clarice(there was a note inside the wretched box)? Nahh. Whatever. It's just a one-night-stand. See, who needs to have strings behind a relationship when you're free to do what you want? No pain, no worry and absolute FREEDOM. I don't want to be settled down so…deal with it.

My name's Vanitas Regis Leith Fair (blame the author for giving me a ridiculously long name). I'm 27, turning 28 next year. I have an annoying younger twin called Skylar, whom we nicknamed Sora. Since our old man and mom are currently out of the country, the two of us are left with the boring paperwork. Wanna know the sad, sad truth?  **I'm** the one who does the work. Sora's being a lazy brother like the bastard he is.

It's stressful I tell you. Sometimes I really regret being born. But! Then again, life is full of pleasure. It's not just porn I'm talking about. Get your mind out of the gutter.

"Vanitas! You have a call from Ven!" Sora called as he chucked his phone at me.

"What does he want now?"

"I don't know! Answer it yourself stupid!"

I nearly chucked the glass paperweight on my brother. Instead, I just picked the damn thing up.

"Hey."

_**"Vanitas! Mind picking me up?"** _

Ventus was our cousin. Older than me and Sora by 2 months. He's as hyperactive as Sora as well, so…I'm stuck between 2 energetic idiots.

"What for? You lazy-ass, go here by yourself."

_**"Are you forgetting what you did at that club one time?"** _

Shit.

"…"

I could hear him laughing his head off. That incident was NOT a pleasant memory. Two-things: it involves me and a hooker. Get it? Now shut the hell up.

_**"Well? Pick me up or I'll tell uncle and aunt about it~"**_  
  
"Pansy ass…alright fine! Where the hell are you?"

_**"Starbucks. You know, the one at—"** _

"Geez I know that stupid. I'm not blonde. Unlike you." I snickered.

_**"Hey! It's not my fault I was born this way!"**_ _ **  
**_  
"You even sung Lady Gaga."

_**"Fuck off Vanitas. Just pick me up already!"** _

"Yeah yeah…keep your pants up. I'm going."

As I stood up, Sora sent me a smug grin.

"He blackmailed you again huh?"

I grunted.

Sora laughed. "Figures."

Since I was one of the great, great, almighty Zack Fair's (No really, our dad's like a hero here) sons, I was greeted with respect from our employees. And you can guess how I feel about it.

"Sir Fair," our receptionist, Tina, greeted.

"I'm going to pick Ven up. If someone's looking for me, just send 'em to my office. Got it?"

"Yes sir."

I stepped out of the building and saw her. Whenever I look at her, I get all happy. Who is it? Why it's my prized Hummer H3 of course! My pride and joy! No single scratch is on it, let alone dirt. Except for the tires. Which is really irrelevant right now. Man I love this shit. It was worth the thousand munny. I'm rich anyway.

While I drove towards the aforementioned coffee café, my phone began to ring. It was from…someone named Stacy? That's weird…I don't remember giving anyone my number, apart from my family.

"Who's this?"

_**"Vanitas…! You liar! I thought you were going to call** **!**_ " someone with a really squeaky voice whined.

"What the fuck? Who are you anyway?"

_**"Ugh! It's Stacy! Don't you remember me? You said you'd marry me!"** _

"I did?"

_**"Yes!"** _

I immediately hanged up and blocked the number. Wow, that was some screw up there. I don't even remember her. Probably another fling when I was drunk. Yeah…maybe that was it. Didn't I tell you earlier? I don't want to be dragged down and be free. All men do anyway. With some exceptions.

I parked beside a Silver Mercedes, and once I was done, stepped out. I saw Ventus by the counter at Starbucks, some blonde talking to someone over her phone behind him. I went inside, and the smell of coffee invaded my nose.

Now I want some coffee.

"Ven." I called. Said blonde looked up and grinned.

"Oh hey Vanitas!"

"You done yet? I'm just going to order so, wait up."

"Yeah sure."

I ordered some latte, ignoring the caked-up-on-make-up face of this girl in front of me. Girls like these were disappointing. I like the simpler ones. Like that brunette over there. Heh. Too bad she's with someone.

"Namiii~!" someone shrieked.

"Ack! Get off! You're heavy!"

Ventus was writing something down at his planner, probably his schedule. When I sat down though, we began to talk.

Later, after we finished with our lattes (me getting another one), we were ready to leave. I need to see if Sora handled ALL the things we've been assigned to. Torturing him is never old.

Ventus was ranting about something beside me on the passenger seat, which involves someone named Terra and Aqua. They sound familiar.

"—so after that, I fell on the pool."

"…"

"Were you even listening?" Ventus deadpanned. I laughed at him.

"What do I care about what you say Ven?"

"Gee, thanks a lot dear cousin." he scoffed sarcastically, and I grinned smugly at his face.

"Why thank you—"

All of the sudden, my car jerked forward, causing Ventus to yelp and me to curse. Oh! And my latte (which was uncovered I tell you) spilled forward and drenched my sound system. The sound of static and the whizzing smoke came. Ventus and I stared at it for a moment before I snapped.

I'm not mad.

No, I'm PERFECTLY fine!

I just need to have a  conversation with this _animal_  who crashed into MY car. An expensive, beautiful and scratch less car. You mess with MY car, you mess with ME. Get that? Now move aside and let me at this idiot!

Oh what do we have here? A blonde woman! I knew it!


	3. What Time Is It? Troll Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't really looking at the road I was driving. And when you don't look at the road when you drive, it leads to accidents. Accidents means trouble. And trouble means debt. And debt means you would have to pay for the damages. So when I suddenly crashed into the back of a black Hummer, I knew I was in trouble. Uh-oh...
> 
> Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix

  
**Episode III - Trolling Like A** **Boss!**    
  
 ****THE BLONDE-IDIOT's POV** **

* * *

"Shit shit shit…" I chanted under my breath as the drop-dead gorgeous guy came out to inspect the crash—which was really, really fine! If you can hear the sarcasm, then salutations to you. Pfft. 

I slowly got out, cringing as the guy stared at me accusingly, but quietly. Shouldn't crashee victims be freaking out by now? Much less complain like whiny bastards when they could just talk it out? I was expecting him to snap right then and there at any moment right now. I mean, all people do right? I gulped.  _'I'm screwed aren't I? GOD FREAKING HELP ME.'_  I prayed.  _Nicely._

A few moments of silence, he spoke up.

"This is strange…" he narrowed his eyes, before looking at me with those—oh my god I never noticed before on how attractive he is. Strangely enough, he had a pair of gold eyes. Like that of a cats. And I love cats. And this guy freaking looks like one. Okay I'll shut up now.

"W-what's strange?" My voice cracked nervously. 

"I'm a man and you're a woman…" Wait, wait, what the fudge this feels familiar. "…you crashed into my car but we're both alive…"

This is familiar! I know this somewhere!

"Isn't it strange?" He grinned.

What the hell?

Did he just go on a total personality swap like a girl on her period? He's weirder than I thought! Weird but attractive that is.

"Um, I guess?" I answered. Hopefully, I sounded convincing. His grin was quite unnerving y'know?

"So…why don't we celebrate?"

Is it what I think it is?

"Celebrate? How?" I glared at him. Who in their right minds would want to celebrate when our cars just crashed? Would you? I'm sure you won't, since…well…I dunno. Unless you're crazy.

"Why, we should celebrate by having a bottle of wine and rejoice! For the 2nd life God has given us!" He reached into the back seat and pulled out a bottle of 1952 wine.

Then it dawned on me when I eyed his grin, and his actions.

"…you got this off from 9GAG didn't you?"

He laughed. I knew it! Now I know why it seemed so familiar!

"That's right! Now go drink it." he smirked. "While I call the cops."

"Fuck you." I couldn't help it—he trolled me! A freaking troll!

This cocky-faced idiot suddenly snickered, and I heard a door open and close. He must have a companion then.

"When and where?"

"You—!"

"NAMINÉ?"

Okay who said that? Was it you, the current person reading this story? Or an alien from outer space that made its way in my head? Either way, I'm quite freaked out, so, shoo away.

I glanced at the newcomer, who looked terribly like Roxas, only his face was a bit more sculpted and his hair was fairer. Oh shit. I gasped.

"Ven?"

Ventus grinned at me and suddenly bounced over to me, laughing as we hugged and spun like long-lost lovers. We ignored the stupid, surprised expression of the one I crashed into and continued to be crushed to death by the older brother of Roxas. What a small world!

"I can't believe it's really you!" I barely managed to pry Ven off while he said so.

"Me neither! I didn't think I'd meet you again Ven!"

"Excuse me—"

"Not now sour-face." I waved the guy off. "How are you Ven?"

"I'm fine!"

"Hey—"

"Funny meeting you again huh?"

"Uh, yeah, what do you do now Nams?"

"Ventus—!"

"I work for Larxene—"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"

"You shut up!" I snapped towards the guy. Cue the glaring contest! There was no way I'm going to lose against this conversation-destroyer! Not an effing chance, got it memorized?

"Ventus, you know this flat-chested barbie?"

"U-uhh…yeah…Roxas' ex."

"Hah. I can see why he ditched her." He glanced at me with those  _unattractive_ eyes and sneered. And being the mature 24-year old woman I was, stuck my tongue out. Right. Mature. Not a word.

"So? It's not ANY of your business? And I'm not flat you asshole!"

He tilted his head.

"Reeeeeally?"

Ah, that drawl was really attractive.

"Yes!"

He eyed me for a moment before groping me.

My eyes widened.

"Nahh, you feel like B cup."

"Vanitas!" Ven squeaked as he swatted the bastard's hands.

"You…are…going…to HELL YOU BASTARD!"

No one dares to diss my boobs! They're C! C CUP for fuck's sake! Diss 'em you die!

The last thing I knew before getting dragged off by Ven was that I tackled the guy into the ground, and gave him a nice bruise on the eye.

I REGRET NOTHING.

NOTHING AT ALL.


	4. Jobs On Sale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't really looking at the road I was driving. And when you don't look at the road when you drive, it leads to accidents. Accidents means trouble. And trouble means debt. And debt means you would have to pay for the damages. So when I suddenly crashed into the back of a black Hummer, I knew I was in trouble. Uh-oh...
> 
> Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix

**Episode IV - Jobs On Sale**

* * *

 

"—but he had a bottle of wine!"

"She crashed into MY car!"

"He touched my boobs!"

"She punched me! Don't you see this!"

The bulky and dread-locked traffic cop sighed in irritation as the 2, MATURE adults bickered back and forth, throwing insults here and there while pointing at whose fault it was. Ventus shrugged and laughed at the sidelines sheepishly, torn in who too choose.

"Sir, ma'am—"

Some passerby's from cars slowed to watch for a bit before driving off hastily with the cop's glare.

"U-uhh, Naminé…Vanitas…stop already!" Ventus sighed.

"—doesn't change the fact that you touched me!"

"Oh yeah? Well! Pay for the damages!"

Ventus and the cop, Xaldin, glanced at each other.

"Sir, I'm sorry to say this, but, we need to get these two for questioning."

Ventus sighed. "Yes, please."

"It's just a stupid, over-priced car anyway! Who'd want that piece of shi—hey! Let me go Ven!"

Ventus grabbed Naminé by the waist and laughed sheepishly. Vanitas growled and tried to shrug off the cop's grip on him, but Xaldin only tightened his death grip on his shoulder.

"Where the fuck are you taking us?" Vanitas growled.

"The office. Someone needs to do some explanations after all." Xaldin plainly said, making the 27-year old lad's eyes widen.

"Are you fucking kidding me? I am Vanitas FAIR. Son of Zachary Johnson and Aerith Gainsborough-FAIR. You can't do this to a beautiful being like me!"

Naminé scoffed at his statement, making Vanitas glare at her.

"Nobody cares if you're the son of some Canary Fair or whatever crap you say!"

"Shut up blondie!"

"Whoever told you to listen anyway!?"

"Whatever!"

"Whatever your face, whatever!"

And cue the next round for the glaring contest! Ding-ding-ding!

* * *

 

You know that awesome feeling you get when you see someone you really, really, dislike feel his bruise after a good hit? Well, apparently, that is what Naminé feels right now as she struggled to remain seated and behaved on the chair across this infamous Vanitas Fair.

He was one of those top-of-the-food-chain-businessmans.

Everyone knew who the Fair's are.

She just didn't meet (and see) this so-called Vanitas Fair until today. _'Pft. Charming and kind? Who are they fooling? All I see is a rude, conceited and an over-narcissist guy who is also drop-dead gorgeous and possesses a fuckingly hot voice—fudge. Stop it Natalie!'_ she bit her lip and exhaled abruptly. Their eyes met, and both parties turned to the side stubbornly, huffing with their noses stuck up in the air.

Ventus smiled nervously and patted her head, making her sigh.

"It's nice to see you again though, Naminé." he said.

"Same." she smiled and closed her eyes. "How's he doing?"

"Roxas? Well, he's engaged."

"Really!" she gasped. "Who's the girl?"

Ventus laughed. "Kairi didn't tell you yet?"

Naminé frowned as Ventus stayed grinning at her. What the hell is he exactly talking about?

"Tell me what?" 

"She's bound to tell you sooner. Well, sorry to burst your bubble but it's Xion! Her sister. Cool right?"

"...okay." Naminé shrugged. She'd have to talk to the Rhapsodos twins later about this news.

"Ahaha…you're still mad at him?"

"Meh. Not really. Simply, because all my hate is directed at this person right here."

Vanitas rolled his eyes at the finger that was currently pointing at him.

"It's rude to point."

"I don't care. I'm willing to be rude than be nice to the likes of you!" she snorted.

"Oh? I'm hurt." he said in a mock-hurt voice as he leaned forward, grabbing her hand. "You wound me Madame."

He gave her a wink then planted a kiss on her knuckle, making Naminé blush and shake in an angry frenzy.

"Eww! Gross!" she wiped the back of her hand on her skirt and grimaced. "Great. Now I'll get GERMS."

"My lips are heavenly!" he fought back.

"Oh? Aren't you the arrogant brat?"

"I'm not arrogant. Just rich. And handsome." he smirked as she shrieked.

"Motherfu—"

"Alright, Miss Natalie Ridley and Mister Vanitas Fair." a voice cut in, making Naminé shut up and mumble curses under her breath.

The head captain cleared his throat as he sat down on the seat across the 2 quarrelling children. His name was Laguna by the way.

"Alright then, we just received a report regarding you two. About a car crash. That right?"

"Yeah." Vanitas answered, eyes narrowed Naminé.

"Okay then, but…it's rather confusing."

"How is that confusing?" Vanitas snapped. "This…woman…crashed into my car! And she won't even pay for the damages she did!"

"It's just an over-priced, unworthy piece of crap anyway! Once it totally breaks over, it'll be useless junk! Sheesh."

"Say that again lowlife." he hissed.

Laguna cleared his throat, and the two quieted down, but didn't cut the glares here and there.

"I see…now, number 2. The wine bottle."

Naminé's eyes sparkled, and Vanitas rolled his eyes.

"This bastard was the one who brought it!"

"Whatever."

"Sir, you do know it's against the traffic rules to bring alcohol on the road."

"You think I'm stupid?" Vanitas scoffed. "Bitch please; it's not my fault that I forgot it was there."

"It IS your fault, moron."

"Fuck off."

Laguna sighed as the two went back to chewing each other's heads off with really offensive words and curses the author who isn't really willing to tell what they were. Laguna glanced at the author and cringed.

"Miss Neko, why?"

"Because it's my story. Now go back to your place." the author, who is me, Le Neko-neko, ordered.

Ventus shook his head in amusement at the two and smiled.

"Alright!" Laguna stood up, twitching. "Miss Ridley and Mister Fair…please spend a night here until you're dismissed."

Cue 2 jaw drops.

"What!?" Vanitas exclaimed.

"With _**him!?**_  Oh no no, please. You have GOT to be kidding me." Naminé whined.

"Who knows what she'll do to me and my gorgeous self? She might even rape me!"

"Women can't rape men Vanitas." Ventus deadpanned.

"Please." Laguna ushered the two into a small, temporary cell in his office and massaged his temples. Who wouldn't get a headache with these two? "Just shut up."

Laguna locked the steel gate, and excused himself for awhile. Ventus stared at the two sheepishly, one irritated and one anxious. Naminé groaned and glowered at the man in front of her, pouting and having her arms crossed childishly.

Vanitas snorted.

"That," he snickered. "Totally suits someone like you."

"Oh. Thank you. I feel so flattered." she rolled her eyes. "It's still your damn fault why I'm stuck here with you."

"How the fuck is that my fault?" he growled. Really, this…Natalie…Naomi person was getting in his nerves!

"Because I said so! Deal with it bitch!"

"A bitch is a female dog. And since I'm a young man, I'm Adonis."

Naminé felt like gagging.

"You have a bad case of narcissism, sir."

He grew angry, well, he did, in her eyes anyway. Their heated glaring contest didn't waver even when Naminé's cell phone rang. Fear not! For Katherine Rhapsodos has come!

 _ **"Reporting for duty! I have news, Colonel Ridley!"**_ Kairi chirped from the other line.

"Roger that Lieutenant Rhapsodos. Come in, what the hell, Kairi?"

Kairi laughed.

_**"Weeeeeeeell…did you forget we're having movie night?"** _

"Oh shi—I totally forgot!"

_**"Figures. Well? Come on!"** _

"Problem, Kairi—" she glanced at Ventus, who had been ignoring Vanitas' calls for him to give his iPhone back, and glared at the back of his head. "I'm in jail."

 _ **"WHAT!?"**_  Kairi choked.  _ **"What the hell? Why!?"**_

"Bail me, and I'll tell you."

_**"Tell me and I'll bail you. ASAP."** _

"No fair!" Naminé exclaimed, making the two men look at her in surprise. "C'mon Katherine! It's basically the same!"

 _ **"No and no."**_  Kairi giggled.  _ **"Tell me first and…I'll come right away."**_

"Oka—"

In his mighty glory, Vanitas had snatched the white, Nokia Lumia away from her and looked at the screen.

"What the fuck! That's just rude!" the blonde woman exclaimed as Vanitas smirked at her.

_**"Nam? Naminé? NATALIE!"** _

"Oh. Sorry." Vanitas placed the phone on his ear. "You see, your friend here has a problem with me."

_**"Really? And what the hell is that!? Who are you!?"** _

He looked at the shaking blonde in front of him and smirked.

"Well," he drawled. "I'm none other than the famous Vanitas Fair—" Kairi gasped. "—and your friend crashed into my precious car."

Naminé glared at him hatefully.

 _ **"Vanitas Fair?"**_ Kairi squealed.

Naminé facepalmed.

"The one and only."

_**"Oh my god oh my god! I'm so sorry! I'll come right away! Please excuse Nami's behaviour!"** _

"It's no problem."

Ending the call, he threw the phone back to his crasher, and laughed at her dumbfounded expression, Naminé barely catching it with her two hands.

"My precious…" she whimpered, cradling the phone to her cheek.

"So. Nami eh?"

"Shut your trap." she glared.

Ventus blinked as Vanitas' phone vibrated, showing his cousin Sora's name.

"Van?"

"What?"

"Call from Sora."

"Give it."

Vanitas gave the woman in front of him a short glance, finding her ears jammed with black earphones as she looked at the glaring, bright screen of her 'precious' phone.

Tsk, tsk.

"What's up bro?"

"' _ **What's up?'"**_ Sora hissed, the sound of furious turning of papers reached Vanitas' ears, making him snort.  _ **"You…! You're such a bastard Vanitas! Where the hell are you?"**_

"Nothing special. I'm just randomly hanging out with someone totally unimportant in a small, stuffy and not to mention shitty, jail cell." He stated simply, so casually, as if he was saying "Your socks smell like shit."

" _ **Jail? Jail? OH THANK YOU!"**_ Vanitas swore at him at that.  _ **"No seriously. Where are you?"**_

"I AM serious moron."

" _ **Well crap."**_

"…"

"…"

"…aren't you going to bail me in this hellhole?" Vanitas hissed.

" _ **Tell me why I should do that."**_

"Because I am your older brother, older TWIN brother, and the coolest and good-looking out the two of us. And that I'm company president. YOU are just vice prez."

" _ **I feel so flattered by that. SOOOO MUCH."**_ Sora grunted.  _ **"Fine. But you better, BETTER explain what the fuck happened to you."**_

"Yeah yeah."

Vanitas quickly hanged up on the brunette. He looked to his left, but found no Ventus.  _'Probably went for a piss. Aww great. Now I'm alone with this chick.'_ He rolled his eyes in annoyance.

And silence ensued.

It felt weird with the silence between the two of them.

No seriously. It is.

Since he had nothing better to do, he just stared at his crasher. Actually, she didn't look at all that bad. Got nice and slender legs, a petite frame and a pretty face. Took a mix of simplicity and sophistication. Too bad all that is ruined because of her spitfire personality. Vanitas tilted his head as an idea hit him and he smirked mischievously.

"Psst."

"…"

"Hey."

"…"

"Blondieeeeeee." He smirked as she twitched. "I know you can hear me."

"What?" She snapped, tearing away the earphones off as she glared at him angrily.

"Since you're clearly not thinking of a way how to repay me, I'm doing the thinking for you."

"Wow. I didn't know you had at least a bout of intelligence in your puny brain." She mocked.

Vanitas snickered, ignoring her comment.

"Well?"

"Fine. Shoot it, Mr. Pay-Me-Up-For-The-Damages."

"Since you know my car is very expensive—" She snorted and rolled her eyes, muttering "Hipster". "—and you're not keen on paying up…"

He smirked.

Naminé blinked at the mischief she saw in there.

Uh-oh…

"Work for me."

Double uh-oh.

 


	5. The Big Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't really looking at the road I was driving. And when you don't look at the road when you drive, it leads to accidents. Accidents means trouble. And trouble means debt. And debt means you would have to pay for the damages. So when I suddenly crashed into the back of a black Hummer, I knew I was in trouble. Uh-oh...
> 
> Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix

**Episode V – The Big Three**

**THE BEST FRIEND's POV**

* * *

 

I am a simple, twenty-four year old woman.

Kairi had gorgeous wine red hair, and sea-blue eyes. She was young, beautiful and dandy. She loved shopping and loved making her best friend feel miserable by forcing her into going shopping with her and forcing her into short dresses and cute skirts. And Kairi does not refer herself in third person unless she's feeling very happy.

She also loves cute little cats with black spots and white fur, Nutella-filled cake, and trolling people she just met.

Okay, maybe not  _that_ simple.

I, Katherine "Kairi" Rhapsodos is a bit more… _unique._ I had been that way since…forever. I am young, rich, famous, amazing and sparkly. But because of my awesomeness, people steered clear from me. People tell me I am, and honestly, I don't give a fudge. They just don't see how awesome I am. My given name was Katherine, but I wished it was Kairi though, since it was cute. Besides, it was a really nice name! Like Naminé's! I got it from a game called Kingdom Hearts. I think that's where Nami got hers too. 

Of course, I just shrugged it off, but still. People were so judgmental today!

Ugh, faith in humanity  **not** restored!

"Miss Katherine!" Lisa, my cute personal maid called out, huffing. "Where are you going? You have a meeting with Mr. Ruiz in an hour!"

Rai.

As much as flattering his compliments on me were, I didn't just like him. Hey! He's a pervert! I may have gone out with guys with names I don't remember, but  _at least_ they're pretty decent  _ **and**_ hot! Like Seifer! I have tastes thank you very much. And double high standards. 

"Lisa, chill~" I laughed. "I'm just going out for a walk."

"But miss!"

"Tell Rai I'm not interested in dating him. Say that to him, and I'm going to raise your paycheck by a thousand munnies more."

"Yas ma'am! Right away!"

See how easy it was? I couldn't help but laugh on my way out, inwardly praising and patting myself in the back for being oh-so-fucking awesome. Did I also mention that I'm a proud troll? No? Well now you know. And I, Kairi Rhapsodos, shamelessly and proudly admit it. Love your trolling people! It is, but a gift!

I grabbed my coat and threw it on, running as I ran out of my house—coughmansioncough—and grin at the sight of the lovely thing in front of me.

My baby~

Oh how I loved it!

That's why I never let Naminé drive my car—she may be a smart woman but she can be clumsy and careless with how she does things. You remember how she crashed with  _the_ Vanitas Fair? Yeah. One of the many examples of my best friend's blondness. I was hell thankful I wasn't one, but I loved my best friend. Dearly. Very much. Like how a sister loves her sister.

Gosh, I hope THAT does not happen to me! I'll rather die honestly!

The moment when my best friend told me she crashed into Vanitas Fair, I knew she screwed up big time. I mean, this is the gorgeous and awesome, older son of  _Zack Fair_ for God's sake. Anyone sane enough would be so stupid to dare take them on. Even more if you're not even known in their world. To them, you are only one, teensy-weensy tiny speck of dust in their shiny, diamond lives. You'd be lucky enough if you get to at least talk to them! So Naminé should be so...grateful!

Okay nuff about the Fair's. Let's talk about me—oh my god what the hell is that?

I quickly stop my car as I see the commotion in front of me (and my car of course).

3 guys. 1 cop.

You thought I said 3 guys, 1  _cup_ didn't you...?

One brunette who looks  _very_ familiar, one blonde guy who also looks  _very very_ familiar, and someone with another blonde hair who I don't obviously know. Huh.

"Please,  _please_ you have to let us through!" the brunette pleaded.

"Tell me why I should do that." the cop said through a bored voice. Meh.

"Please let us through. We are in a emergency." the very familiar blonde answered.

When the unfamiliar blonde nodded eagerly, I gushed at his cuteness.

When the other blonde pouted, I gushed harder.

And when the brunette turned around and saw me, I almost fainted.

Because dammit, I realized  _now_ who those 2 familiar people were.

I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA EXPLODE.

It's  _Skylar Aeron Fair_ and  _Roxas Andrew Hyde._  The younger twin brother of Vanitas Fair, and the other, Roxas, is apparently, Naminé's ex. The unknown guy with them, we shall call him BHK. Now, shoo.

"Excuse me, what seems to be the problem?" I asked nicely. I'm curious you know.

The cop examined me for a moment. Eww, don't check me out mister officer. You're not my type.

"And who are you?"

"Katherine Rhapsodos! Daughter of the one and only Tiffany and Genesis Rhapsodos!"

Roxas blinked as if he recognized me. Oh I forgot he's blonde too. Silly me. Skylar cutely tilts his head while BHK looks at us back and forth. The cop is left in the background. Who needs totally unimportant cops?

"Kai?"

"You remember me!" I laughed. "Yes Roxy-boo. It's me Kairi."

"You know each other Roxas?" BHK chirps.

"Yeah. We were classmates at high school, Oz." So Oz is BHK's name. Okay then. Oz. Ozzy. Ozzy-bear. Ozzy and the Cockroaches. Oh wait, that was Oggy. Heh heh...

"Cool!"

"Alright, alright. Is there something wrong mister officer?"

"Speeding. This three were breaking number 1 rule in traffic."

"It's s'okay. I'll handle 'em!"

"Sure miss..."

And he walked away. Then I realized were standing in the highway and panicked. Fudge.

"W-why don't we chat later on some more?" I nervously ask. Who wouldn't get jelly when you have 3 good-looking guys in front of you? I changed my mind that Vanitas was the gorgeous one.  _Skylar_ was cuter!

"Yeah. I agree. Stupid brother of mine..." Skylar grumbled. "C'mon Rox! Oz! We hafta bail him if we don't want my dad at our necks..."

Roxas smiled at me.

Damn youuuuu Roxas. Y U STILL SO CUTE?

"See you later Kai."

"Yeah. Bye."

It was only after they left that I realized I was going to the same place. So with an ashamed facepalm, I drove off.

* * *

 

The scenario when I got there was rather...ehem. Disturbing.

Why, of all things in the world, was Naminé straddling the crashee, pulling his hair as if ready to tear it out in pieces, while said crashee was shouting obscenities at her to get off? Yeah, wait. Was that his hand on top of her -bleep-?

Skylar, Roxas, Ozzy and with the addition of Ventus (of course I know him, he's Roxas' brother!), were now quietly watching by the sidelines, expressing their shock and disbelief with their jaws open wide. Heeeeeeello, a fly is flying around! Close it please~

"Get the fuck off blondie!"

"You bastard! Who the hell gave you the permission to decide things like that so suddenly! ? Over my dead body!"

I shook my head.

"Naminé!"

She looked up at me, and forced a grin on. Made her look constipated though...

"Hi Kairi."

"Don't 'Hi Kairi' me!" I couldn't help it. Sometimes when your best friend does crazy things, you can't help but scold them. Like what I'm doing now. "You. Are. A. LADY! Get off the guy and stand up!"

"But Kairi!" she whined. "He...! He...!"

"Nuh-uh. Off Nami."

"No!" she crossed her arms. "I will not get off him unless he takes back what he said."

Skylar snickers.

"Congratulations brother. You earned yourself an anti-Vani."

"Shut up Sora." Vanitas grumbles. Was that a blush on his cheeks? Holy. Shiz. I need my phone NOW.

So...Sora is what Skylar is called...right! I shall use Sora! It's such a fitting name for his gorgeous blue eyes!

I could melt into them honestly!

But then, things has to always screw up and crap.

Roxas spoke up.

"Nam?"

Cue frozen Nami. Add in a confused Vani and a sheepish Ven, multiply the sum with a clueless Ozzy and Sora, you get the product of a distressed Kairi.

Brilliant. Just brilliant!

* * *

 

**YOUR POV**

Naminé's eyes widened in shock.

Roxas' eyes were equally as wide as hers.

Vanitas was half curious and half angry (he's still on the floor need I remind you).

Kairi was facepalming.

The other three are currently unimportant, so don't ask what their reactions are.

The raven-haired Fair eyed the suddenly mute blonde on top of him. He had to admit though; she was so light compared to how she looked! And very bipolar too. From an enraged banshee to a silent mute. What the hell? Naminé wordlessly got off of him, not breaking eye contact with his cousin. Just what was their relationship?

"Um, Nami, I can explain." the redhead tried to reason. "Uhh..."

The door opened, and Laguna came inside.

"Oh!" he grinned wide. "Are you Miss Rhapsodos and Mister Fair?"

"Um, yeah." they both answered.

"Alrighty then! Your friends can go."

He unlocked the gate, and out strolled Vanitas casually like a boss. Naminé, however, was as still as a rock. Or a statue. Or a pole. Ah whatever. She stayed inside and continued staring.

"..."

"Um, Naminé?" Roxas waved a hand in her face, but jumped when she calmly placed it down.

The most cliched thing happened.

Naminé ran off.

"Wait! Naminé!" Kairi had stepped forward to run after her, but Ventus held her back. "Ven!"

"It's best if you give them some space to talk, Kai."

"Naminé!" Roxas ran after the blonde.

"But...!"

Ventus shook his head though, and defeated, Kairi sighed. She looked at Roxas' retreating back and crossed her arms.

"Fine. But I better not find my best friend crying later!"


	6. Hey I Just Met You, And This Is WAR!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't really looking at the road I was driving. And when you don't look at the road when you drive, it leads to accidents. Accidents means trouble. And trouble means debt. And debt means you would have to pay for the damages. So when I suddenly crashed into the back of a black Hummer, I knew I was in trouble. Uh-oh...
> 
> Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix

 

  
**Episode VI - Hey I Just Met** **You, And This Is WAR!**

**THE RUNAWAY POV**

* * *

 

I don't always sit down and have coffee, but when I do, it's when I just recently ran off from a certain someone who I REALLY don't like to be with.

And no. I'm not at Starbucks. Just some crappy cafe with their crappy coffee.

That douche.

How dare he reappear on my perfect, perfect life? Just when I had the strength to move on, he comes again and la de la de blah comes HIM. 

Then he had the nerve to call me Nam? Oh hell no. He didn't have the right anymore. Hmph. What about you guys? You'd get angry at your EX talking so casually to you as if he didn't break up with you properly right? Yes, I'm talking to you, the readers of this crappy fan fiction written by a cat person. But I'm going to shut up now so it'll lessen the glare on my back, ha ha…

Back to the point.

Roxas, you're a scumbag. A douchebag, a lyingbag, a heartbreaking bag, an eyebag or a twotimingbag. I held a tissue in my hands and clenched it so tightly, imagining it to be Roxas. Die. Die. Die!

"Whoa…you're really angry at me…aren't you?"

What was that?

I don't wanna turn around. If I do, it'll certainly make my face be centimetres close to that douchebag. And, if by fate, make us kiss accidentally and make-out so passionately later. Ick. Damn it, I've been watching too many animes like Special A…

"It's rude to not look at the person you're talking to."

"…"

"Naminé."

Why is he so persistent? Why the fuck WHY? Men makes me really tired with their antics…I sighed.

"Sit down and let's…do whatever you want us to do."

I think I'm going to regret this.

* * *

 

I was right.

"You know…there's a free seat across of me. Don't you see it?"

"I see it."

"…"

"…"

"Aren't you supposed to sit down there and TALK like a normal ex-boyfriend?"

Roxas is sitting NEXT to me. I mean, really, really close. If I moved anymore closer, I'll be sitting on his lap. Eww no. I shuddered inwardly. Please; I valued my personal space. And my personal space is like…13 meters far. You can only pass when you're Kairi. Or a family member. If not…YOU SHALL NOT PASS. Go away.

Roxas smiled at me.

Yeah, just smile you blonde smiledog. I am going to pretend that I'm not blonde so I'm not a hypocrite. Plus, I'm still mad at him.

"Can't I just sit here though?"

"Whatever."

I want to scream and beat him up senseless for the cowardly break up. If it were a normal break up, I'd probably say; alright. It's okay…we can always be friends again right? Yeah. But nooooo. It isn't. Woe is me. Instead, we chatted and fought through chat at Facebook. Having caps lock war. And after 2 hours of slamming fingers, we officially broke up. I blocked Roxas in every single social network I had; Facebook, Yahoo, Tumblr, Twitter, Skype, hell, even FRIENDSTER. I was that angry at him. What can I do? I can't certainly say, "Oh. That's nice. Have a nice life with Xion, my best friend's  _ **twin sister.**_ " NO. Call it overreacting, but I was hurt that time too. He didn't even tell me the clear reason  _why_ he broke up with me.

And so today, I refuse to socialize with his bastard.

"So Nam," here it goes again, so I glared at him, making him stutter back. "I-I meant Naminé. How are you these years?"

"Peachy."

"I heard you're working for Larxene's fashion company."

"Secretary."

We both know that I'm sending one replies to all his questions. Because I can and will. You can't stop me. Roxas only chuckled as he set down his coffee, and then another clichéd moment happened; he grabbed my hand. 

"What are you doing?" he was ENGAGED, people. Stop thinking this is CUTE. Do you have any idea what "engaged" meant?

"Talking."

"I can see that, but why are you holding my hand?"

"It's cold." I snorted and he frowned.

"Please." I may be blonde, but that doesn't mean I'm stupid. I'm not someone who sticks to another person who is already committed. And from what I know, it was Roxas who left ME and it should be HIM who goes back to ME and I don't plan on doing it if it happens too. What's done is done. Past is past. Second chances are overrated. 

"Why? Is it wrong to hold hands?"

"With an ex? Yes."

"Naminé…"

"Roxas."

This is kinda getting fun, but he just sighed and continued to hold my hand, so tight and warm around mine, but I stopped fantasizing before it got worse. I don't want to get my hopes up and get hurt again. Besides, once was enough. I just sighed—it doesn't look like he's willing to let me go just yet, judging from his grip. Damn.

"What do I have to do to make you forgive me?" he asked me desperately.

Dumb question.

That is a very, very dumb question.

"So, you're asking me to forgive you?" I asked calmly.

"Well um…yes but…"

"No." I sipped my coffee calmly, smirking when I heard his sigh.

"Naminé please…" he let go of my hand to run it through his spikes, which I admit, was quite hot. Shit! Stop it Naminé! "I just…I just want to be friends again."

"Friends? Roxas…you don't understand."

He frowned, not understanding me. I groaned of course. Forgiving Roxas was like…making a beggar steal your money. I wasn't willing to forgive him just yet. He broke my heart, then! I'll leave him in the dust. I don't need to be friends with someone just hurt me. Roxas and I were silent for a little while, him staring down at his steaming coffee while I drank mine, feeling absolutely victorious too. Fuck yeah.

"…will you forgive me if I broke it off with Xion?"

Cue cereal guy.

" _ **WHAT?**_ "

This is downright outrageous! What _bullshit_ is he blabbering now? Break the engagement off with Xion? Oh no no. I wasn't going to let that happen! Xion may be Roxas' fiancée, but she was one of my dearest friends, and judging from the way her eyes light up just by talking about him, I knew she really loved him. But from the words of this douchebag today, I wasn't sure if he felt the same way. I glared at him.

"You love Xion yes?"

"I do but…" he cradled my hands in his. "I want…I want to make it up for you. I hurt you…I've broken your heart, and I left you—"

"—you broke it off online—"

"—I know that—" red invaded his cheeks. I finally made him blush from embarrassment! Achievement unlocked! "—and I'm truly, deeply and sincerely sorry."

Should I?

Poker face?

Or should I not?

I'll pick poker face.

"You…you don't need to break off your engagement with Xion."

"Then why can't you accept my apology?"

I sighed in deeply.

"You're doing it again Roxas. Instead of leaving me, you're leaving Xion. What happened to us before is getting started again." I squeezed his hands. "I don't want to be the cause of your and Xion's break up. Like how what happened to us."

Roxas looked down and sighed.

The minutes pass by silently as we finish our coffees.

1 minute.

2 minutes.

5 minutes.

14 minutes.

"Hey…Naminé?" he tugged on my hand.

"Yep?"

"Do you think I still have the chance?"

Uh-oh.

"What chance?"

Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

"…if I didn't break up with you. Do you think you'll still take me back?"

I knew it.

Dammit, why are cliché things happening too much today? This is madness! THIS. IS. REAL LIFE! Ugh.

"I-I'm afraid no…Roxas."

Cheers! For my voice had cracked and stuttered from apparent nervousness! And I wonder why because I rarely stuttered! Unless you're that shadow lurker in the shadows that asked if I had coffee! What a load of crap.

"Why?" and here comes the rhetorical and infamous question.

"I…" Come on Natalie! Think! THINKKKKK. Think of a perfect excuse! "I'm…already with someone else."

I think I said that a little too quickly, but Roxas hadn't noticed, thankfully, because his eyes had widened and I was fighting off the smile of victory.

"Oh…" Disappointment and surprise was like sunshine on his face. So blandly obvious. "I…see. Who is it?"

Great, congratulations Naminé, you just yourself in deep trouble in first class ticket.

"Well I—uhh—"

"It's me dear cousin."

Someone suddenly grabbed my face from behind, cupping my cheeks and tilting my face up (What, Shugo Chara?), and I could see…

Vanitas Fair.

He was smirking in amusement.

"Vanitas?" Roxas frowned.

"Yes its me." he rolled his eyes.

I felt being pulled out of my seat and it turns out that douchebag had pulled me out of my seat, snaking an arm around my shoulders and gave me a kiss to the forehead. I grimaced and glared at him.

"Can't we do a lil PDA, love?" He chuckled.

I could see Roxas scowling now.

U MAD BRO?

"No honeybunch." I played along, giggling when a slight amount of pink appeared on his cheeks. Never knew pretending as a couple was…I dunno. Fun! "You know I don't like PDA."

Burn Roxas.

I don't care if you're jelly.

"I see…" he murmured, standing up."…I'll…see you 'round then, Naminé."

Roxas left.

I then proceed to glare at the man beside me, who just grinned back before he kissed my forehead again.

"Job starts tomorrow, gorgeous." he said as he proceeded to let go of me and walk out of the crappy café.

"Be at the Fair Enterprises by 9:30 sharp. Tardiness explains your character."

I followed him outside, poker face and all.

"Hey." he looked back at me with a smirk.

"Yes honey?"

"…I just met you. And this is crazy." I said. He laughed. Oh, was this amusing? Thank you! Thank you! "But here's my reply, don't call me honey."

"Sing the actual song!" he snickered. "Maybe I'll hire you as a singer too."

"Shut up."

"Why? It's fun, honey!"

"I said shut up!"

"Meh. Maybe if you pole dance for me, I think I'll shut up." he smirked, as if he was challenging me.

"Shut up bastard!" I yelled at him as I blushed.

How dare he!

How fucking dare he?

"This is war." I nearly growled. "I'm going to be so horrible to you you'll fire me."

"Hah." he snorted, crossing his arms. "Challenge accepted."

I had no idea what I have just done.

 


	7. Bosses Not For The Win

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't really looking at the road I was driving. And when you don't look at the road when you drive, it leads to accidents. Accidents means trouble. And trouble means debt. And debt means you would have to pay for the damages. So when I suddenly crashed into the back of a black Hummer, I knew I was in trouble. Uh-oh...
> 
> Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix

 

**Episode VII - Bosses Not For The Win**

**YOUR POV**

* * *

 

A poker faced Larxene stood in front of a bowing Naminé, who was repeatedly slamming her forehead on the floor as she kept acting like an idiot. A pink haired man—oh that's Marluxia—stood behind Larxene, looking like a cross between amused and confused. Several coworkers passed by, yet they didn't stop to talk about Naminé. They were already used to a daily dose of Naminéness.

The flaxen-haired blonde sighed to herself.

Great.

Larxene was probably going to fire her right away without her paycheck—and it was a whooping 30,000 munny a month I tell you. And she was certainly going to be screwed if she doesn't get it. Her annoying house lord was getting more and more annoying, since he was very much keen on throwing her out into the streets. Homeless. Hungry. Helpless. …hairless? Naminé shuddered at the thought.

Oh god NO.

She spent 2 years getting her hair the way it is! She cared for her precious hair! Washed it every day, hot-oiled, and brushed it every 20 minutes! Here! Touch it!

"So." Naminé 'eep'ed at the steely voice of her boss. "You made me come back from my supposed-vacation just to tell me you're quitting, when YOU were supposed to be MANAGING in MY place."

 _'Woman, please.'_ Naminé's 'Other' snorted. Huh. Since when did she have an Inner Naminé? What is this, Naruto? Hah. Naminé secretly rolled her eyes.

"Um, yes."

"Why?"

"W-well…boss…it's a long story."

Aaaaaand there goes the Larxene Glare: Super Saiyan Bitch! Naminé and a couple of workers shrunk from her "eyes of death." She was certainly and utterly screwed. However, instead of ranting out a long tirade of useless words, the antenna-banged (LOL) woman crossed her arms.

"You're fired." she said simply.

Naminé's eyes widened and her jaw dropped.

"B-but—!"

"And without your paycheck."

"You bi—!"

Larxene simply flicked her wrist at her, as if shooing her. Naminé sat on the floor with a quivering lip, defeated.

Yup.

Definitely screwed.

Worse is that she still had to deal with that gorgeous asshole named Vanitas Fair.

Man.

* * *

 

 

  
**THE GORGEOUS ASSHOLE'S** **POV**

She's late.

I said 9:30 SHARP. And it's already 9:32. Sora was snickering like the idiot he is in MY table like he owned my office. Excuse me; I think my name is Vanitas. Not Sora. Having a twin brother sucks. Not cool at all.

I did have fun messing with—was it Ami or Nakine?—Naomi though. Remember her expression? It was downright hilarious. And adorable. I will certainly have fun messing around her in her time here. Who cares if she'll be so damn horrible? It's the fun that makes it exciting, hah! And a young man like me can't live without any fun. Remember the saying, "You only live once." Die happy and make others sad. Yep.

"Hey bro. Watcha thinkin' about?"

I glanced at my brother and snorted.

"Nothing."

"Liar!" he sang. Don't mind him, he's an idiot. "You're funny Van."

"I don't remember bringing up some fucked up joke."

"You forget we're twins sometimes." he said, ignoring what I said. I said nothing. "Silence means yes!"

"I didn't even say anything. Moron."

"Oh yeah? You did just now!" he said with a shit-eating grin.

"Go choke on shit, Sora." I shoved him off of my chair and sat down, thoroughly irritated and impatient.

"Eww no!"

I swear. I am going to cut that goddamn tongue of his and shove it down his throat. Sora was way too talkative and loud for his own good. Would it kill him to at least shut up for a minute? I sighed and propped my feet up on my desk, since that woman was taking her sweet time getting here.

"Okay then. Please shut up." I told him as I ran a hand through my hair—which was quite similar with Sora's—and sighed. I'm tired, I'm hungry and I NEED some cake. I love cake. Mostly it's either Nutella-flavored or red velvet. Don't you dare say a thing about my unhealthy obsession with cakes.

"So!" he chirped, ignoring my words. "What happened to…what's her name again?"

"I have no fucking idea."

"Where is she?"

"She turned into a ninja." I growled. Sora only stuck his tongue out at him.

"Sarcasm sir."

"Whatever."

"Have you heard she's Rox's ex?"

"Rather late on headlines bro?"

Sora glared at me. Meh. He hasn't perfected the art of the "Fair Glare." Didn't even make me blink. Wanna see? Here. I shall glare back. And he rolled his eyes.

"Well SORRY. It's not like I'm a gossip person!"

"You are."

"Gah!" Sora was on the verge of flipping the desk. "You know what? Just…just stop."

"You started it."

"No I didn't—I mean, you did…! But I…! Fuck you Vanitas." he growled the last part out.

"Eww god Sora." I smirked as I saw his expression horrify. "I know we're twins but…no thanks."

Then Sora stormed out. QUIETLY.

Fuck yeah.

I'm awesome.

I look at the clock again. 9:39.

Retrieving my phone from my pocket, I pressed 4 to speed dial. What am I doing? Taking matters with my own hands. Wherever is that woman, I am going to skin her alive and roast her and feed her to rats and rabbits while I eat my goddamn cake for making me wait.

And I don't like waiting.

* * *

"Stupid…bitchy…idiotic...cockroach-haired..."

Naminé flicked a small speck of dirt from the floor, a scowl imprinted on her face. First off, that asshole Vanitas, then douchebag Roxas, then bitchy Larxene joins the circle. Why are they intent on making a poor woman like her suffer? Naminé childishly pouted.

Then she looked at the blasted piece of 'threat' letter that came from her landlord. It was a load of bullcrap. And stupid.

She hoped they'd just all die so she could live in peace, and be free! Yeah, that sounds completely awesome.

Her phone rang.

It was Kairi.

"'Lo?"

_**"Hey there Namsy-Nam!"** _

She grimaced at the new name.

"Wonderful name Kai. Just what I need after I just got fired."

 _ **"Really? I knew it Namsy! I told you! You shouldn't have worked for that bitch!"**_ Kairi huffed from the other side, and suddenly shrieked. _**"Nooooo…! My nails!"**_

Typical of Kairi. She rolled her eyes.

"I know, I know…fine…! You're right! Happy?"

**_"Very!"_ **

"Ugh."

_**"Teehee."** _

"Kairi…be honest. Why'd you call?"

**_"OH EM GEE SIS."_ **

"What now?" Naminé asked, irritated.

_**"YOU are already in a RELATIONSHIP with VANITAS FAIR? Are you serious? ARE YOU SERIOUS NAMSY?"** _

Naminé almost had a cereal guy moment.

"Dude. That is NOT true. Where the hell did you hear that anyway?"

_**"From Xion via Roxas!"** _

She groaned. Of COURSE he'd tell Xion, who will tell her twin sister Kairi, who is currently telling her. 

"Great."

**_"Are you mad at me or something, best friend? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?"_ **

"Dude! Chillax! It was just an act, okay? Please don't tell them."

It got unusually quiet. It worried the blonde instantly.

"Kai? You there?"

 _ **"Oh. My. God."**_  Kairi squealed.

"What now woman?" Naminé groaned.

_**"I just realized you two would so totally be cute together!"** _

…p-p-p-poker face p-p-poker face…

_**"I'm serious! I even have a name for you guys! Wanna know?"** _

"No."

 ** _"VanNami! Or NamiTas!"_  **she giggled.  ** _"It's so cute! You two really clash y'know?"_**

"It was just an ACT Katherine. I panicked okay? I said I was already in a relationship with someone else when Roxas asked me! Then that guy stepped in saying it was him!"

_**"Ooh…drama!"** _

"I wouldn't call it drama unless I tell you that Roxas told me he was going to break off his engagement with Xion just so I could forgive him and give him another chance." she rolled her eyes.

Kairi entered another round of battle with silence.

"See? And—"

BANG!

"Holy shit!" Naminé jumped when the room of her door suddenly slammed open, revealing none other than Vanitas Fair in a biker's jacket. Naminé—begrudgingly—admitted that he did look quite hot like that.

"What the fuck are YOU doing here?" Naminé screeched, horrified. "More importantly, HOW did you found out where I live!? You stalker!"

"Woman, please."

Naminé screeched when he suddenly grabbed her by the waist and hoisted her on his shoulder, his right eyebrow twitching. He simply laughed as the blonde futilely slammed her petite fists at his back. At the process of doing so, Naminé dropped her 'precious' phone at the bed, making her whimper.

"I have my sources." he said, chuckling.

"No! Let me go you stalker!"

"Your efforts are useless. You're already late as it is. Now stop with the struggling, woman."

"No!"

"Do I HAVE to knock you out just so we can go?" Vanitas growled.

"Put me down!"

"Can't do that."

"Don't rape me! I'm still pure!"

"Like hell I'd do that!"

"Then put me down already!"

"Nope! I'm afraid I can't do that."

"Damn you to hell!"

People kept on staring as the infamous Fair casually walked towards the elevator, holding a rather embarrassed and angry Naminé Ridley like a sack of potatoes. Naminé's face rivalled that of a tomato as the man had the nerve to STRUT down the hall, as if he wasn't ashamed to be seen carrying a woman on his shoulder. Anyone sane enough wouldn't do that!

"Put me down!"

Vanitas glared at the other passengers of the elevator, making them squeak like little rats and scurry out. He didn't even let her down even as the steel doors closed, infuriating the blonde further. Naminé growled and turned to look at him with the best she could do. Vanitas simply grinned back.

"Comfy up there honey?"

"Shut up! Don't you 'honey' me you jerk! You bastard! You stalker!" she ranted. "How did you find where I live? I demand to know!"

Vanitas simply stuck his tongue out, even though she couldn't obviously see it. He jammed his free hand on his pocket, his golden eyes rolling.

"Ever heard of 'research'?"

"You're getting more creepier."

"Thanks honey."

"I hate you."

"Nice ass by the way."

"You're just jealous because I have curves."

"Nah."

"That was an insult."

"I know."

"…aren't you supposed to be offended and drop me to the floor?" Naminé bluntly asked, raising a single yellow brow.

"Do you want me to?" he challengingly smirked.

"Nope." she maneuvered herself into his arms, something which made Vanitas' eyes widen a bit, and more when she wrapped her arms around his neck a little TOO tightly. Help?

"What are you doing?"

"I might as well get comfy if you don't plan on letting me down right?"

"Brilliant logic." he spat out bitterly as the doors opened, and he was forced to carry the woman who had the nerve to ridicule and embarrass him. He didn't even know why he said it was him who was her BOYFRIEND.

 _"That's because you want to help_ _her._ _"_  Light Vani appeared on his right shoulder, though it was invisible to the blonde in his arms as he walked.

_**"Really? Well…"** _

**"Bitch PLEASE."**  Dark Vani appeared on his left and scoffed. **"She's hot. That's why you said you were her boyfriend."**

**_"She IS hot…if she just wore a skirt…"_ **

_"No no!"_   LV (Light Vani) wagged his wand. _"Don't listen to that ridiculous devil!"_

 **"Says the one who wears an idiotic ring on his head."**  DV (Dark Vani) snickered, twirling his black trident.

 _"It's called HALO!"_  LV growled.

 **"Whatever!"**  DV rolled his eyes. **"We all know you just want to tap that!"**

_"No! Light will prevail!"_

And they disappeared with a pop. Vanitas shook his head. That was really stupid. Talking to yourself? Not cool. Not cool at all. Vanitas grumbled obscenities under his breath as Naminé gasped.

"We're going to ride THAT?"

"Problem?" he grinned cruelly.

"Why no! I don't have a problem!" she shrieked, tightening her grip on his neck tighter, choking the man.

"Loosen up, woman! I can't breathe!" he growled.

He dropped his 'load' on the back of the sleek, black motorcycle, the bloody red leather handles complimenting the color. He threw her a spare helmet, in which she clumsily caught and stared at him in confusion.

"What?" he snapped.

"I have no idea how to wear this thing." she tilted her head to the side, which Vanitas did admit, was really cute.

"You're definitely blonde." he said, snatching it off of her hands.

"Well sorry!" she grunted. "It's not like I rode one of these…these things before!"

"Are you serious?" he grimaced, feeling HIS pride hurt instead of hers. Naminé nodded.

"Yeah." she blinked when he plopped the helmet down on her head, hands clasping the locks together. "I have a trauma…sort-of."

"Too bad then."

"No, it's really fine!" she said sarcastically as he eased himself in front of her, his own helmet on his head.

"Well?"

"Well what?" she huffed, crossing her arms.

"You may need to hold on tight if you don't wanna fall off." he stated simply.

Naminé wasn't really that willing either.

Besides, this guy was a jerk.

But if she doesn't…

She would be hearing condolences from Earth as she watched through Heaven's magic mirrors. Psh. As if. Slowly and hesitant, Naminé wrapped her arms around her 'kidnapper's' waist. Vanitas idly thought at how nice it felt, before shrugging, immediately taking off.

Naminé kept screaming along the way.

* * *

 

**THE STALKER's POV**

By the time we got back to the office, it had been 10:30 already. It was hilarious as how she twitched every now and then, still shaken from how fast I drove, and from the looks of it, she preferred to be anywhere but here. She's really stupid to not notice that she's sitting on a red velvet arm chair imported from England's Wayfinder Furniture, the Oak table from Ends of Earth, the rolling chair by Scrooge McDuck's Penny, and all the other god-expensive things in my office. Be jelly.

Turns out this gal's name is Natalie Samantha Hansen Ridley. Single, age 24. Graduated from Atlantica's Fine Arts Institution with Master's Degree at art and a 2nd degree at medicine. She's also a valedictorian in every class she's been in and apparently, she's got quite the sharp tongue too. Heh.

"So." I closed her folder. "Any conditions the lady would like to set before we seal this negotiation?"

"Yes." she looked miffed.

"State them."

"I have 5 conditions."

"That's abusing my kindness don't you think?"

"I don't care! First off, please don't call me "honey"."

"But why?" It wasn fun teasing her so… "You know you love me, honey." I even winked at her as a bonus. 

"Arrghhh!" she glared at me. "Never EVER bug me when I'm in my special days."

"Eww god NO." I stuck my tongue out in disgust. "As if I'd do that!"

"Good to know!" she huffed happily. "Third, no funny business."

"Aww."

She twitched, but continued. "Fourth, personal things should not be involved."

"Why did you and Roxas break up?"

"Shut up! I thought I said personal stuff are untouched?"

"I like to break rules honey."

She blushed.

"L-lastly…just call me…Naminé."

"What was that?"

Hell, what a weird nickname.

Weird but good weird.

"Na-mi-né." she growled.

"Na-mi-né." I repeated. "Alright then Nami."

"Oh god why?" she moaned in her hands.

"You are now hired as my personal secretary. Until you pay off your debt, you stay here working for me. Get that?"

"Yes, douchebag."

"SIR, Nami." I laughed at how easy it was to get her mad.

"Yes SIR."

See that? Easy as pie. I wrote down her conditions and signed my name into the first line.

"Proof of contract." I wagged the paper in her face. Naminé rolled her eyes at me as she snatched it off, grabbing a pen, signed her name, and our deal was sealed.

We shook hands, but after our little handshake, I kissed her dainty little hand—I imagine them tugging at my hair sooner or later—and watched her mouth twist in a grimace.

"Welcome to the Fair Enterprises."

And that was the time when the big bang started.


	8. It Is But A Crime To Be Sugar-High

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't really looking at the road I was driving. And when you don't look at the road when you drive, it leads to accidents. Accidents means trouble. And trouble means debt. And debt means you would have to pay for the damages. So when I suddenly crashed into the back of a black Hummer, I knew I was in trouble. Uh-oh...
> 
> Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix

 

**Episode VIII - It Is But A Crime To Be Sugar-High**

  
****THE UNFORTUNATE ONE's POV** **

* * *

"Ridley, make me a sandwich."

"Ridley, get my phone."

"Ridley, read me a story."

"Ridley, sing me I'm A Barbie Girl."

"Ridley, massage my foot will ya?"

I've HAD it with this guy! All he does is "Ridley this, Ridley that!" It's so annoying! He's treating me like a goddamn housewife or something! I am a SECRETARY. A respectable, and admirable  ** _secretary_**. I am entitled to  _organize_  his schedule,  _book_  meetings for him,  _type_  up documents he needs,  _get_ him coffee, and  _ **ACT**  _professionally. I must be polite and kind at **ALL**  times and should do my work without any complaint at  **ALL**. Is that what you expect? No! Because I'm being treated like a maid! Whoever the hell came up with the theory that this "boss" of mine is hard-working, charming, kind, and apparently, a GENTLEMAN? Oh no no. They probably haven't seen him behind the stupidly expensive suits and Aviator shades. It's the EMPLOYEES like ME who is HARD-WORKING. All he does is sit there and bark out orders to be followed. I feel like a pawn for the king. Which I am. The sad and bitter truth. 

I hummed as I tapped my chin, deciding what coffee I should go for. For myself and the douchebag of course. Maybe he won't notice I placed some cyanide in his coffee…

"Place some cream and chocolate. Works best." someone dared interrupt my thoughts.

"Uh…" I look at him. Holy—the douchebag! Oh wait…he has brown hair and blue eyes. "Thanks...?"

"No problem!" he grinned. He seemed friendly enough. I smiled back. "Oh yeah, judging from your daily scowl, I'm guessing my brother is giving you quite the trouble eh?"

"Brother? You mean HIM?"

He laughed. I freaked out. How could a fugly being like HIM have such cute brother? Man, Kairi will surely throw herself at him if they ever meet. He looked the same as the douchebag too! Except for the eyes and the hair. I panicked. If this is his brother, then that means he'll be the same as HIM. Oh my god.

"You there? Hey~"

I swatted the hand poking my cheek.

"Um…yeah…sorry."

"Don't worry! I'm not like that douche. I don't bite."

Oh.

I saw him blush when I grinned a bit too happily at him. Then we shook hands.

"I'm Natalie. Nice to meet you sir…?"

"Just call me Sora! Don't you remember me back a week ago?"

"No." I really didn't.

"Oh." he pouted. I actually blushed. 

"I'm sorry sir Sora..."

"N'aww s'okay! Just call me Sora! I'm dead sick of the formalities."

That grin is so cute.

If only that douchebag smiles like this then…I inwardly facepalmed. I bet he'll look stupid. Very stupid. Yeah that's it! ...right?

"Thanks a lot."

In my surprise, I turn around and saw le douchebag there, with his arms crossed and one brow raised in amusement. Sora didn't bother to hide and outright snickered. Dammit; I said my thoughts out loud didn't I?

"Oh. Hi sir."

"Hn."

"Here's your coffee. All black like you wanted."

"Hn."

I shoved him out of the way, holding his cup of coffee and mine I tell you, and literally waltzed out of the coffee booth. And accidentally knocked a fellow employee off. Who cares?

* * *

"And I'm supposed to believe she didn't place anything there?" Vanitas said to his younger brother, cocking his head to the side.

"I think I saw her place some salt in there though…not sure."

"Nevermind." Vanitas picked up Sora's, ignoring his protest. "Deal with it lil bro. I'm the older one."

"Psh. Yeah. OLD."

"You're the one who looks like a scrawny teenager who had yet reached his puberty."

"A-at least I don't look OLD like someone here!"

"…are you forgetting we're twins?"

"No!"

"Then you just insulted yourself either."

Sora screeched in frustration as his evil, evil brother walked off casually.

* * *

After that little coffee fiasco, I returned to work my ass off. I think 3 hours had passed; I barely noticed. It was only 1 pm too. And my shitty schedule ends at 7pm. I can't have my lunch break—work and all—until I finish this paper my boss oh so desperately needs. And I am goddamn hungry. Oh the joy of being a secretary~help me, please.

A coworker of mine—her name's Olette—stopped by my desk just outside the douchebag's office.

"Hello Naminé."

I swear she's the only person who talks to me in this building. Not counting sir Sora, since we just met today. Everyone in the Fair Enterprises were extremely snobbish and arrogant, hell, even the  _janitor_ —like their boss. What is with them following a totally unrealiable  ** _role model?_**  Jesus Christ.

"Hi Olette. Can I help you?"

"Not really. I just want to stop by to see what you're doing."

"Oh you know. The usual…secretary stuff."

"Hardworking aren't you?" Olette giggled. Giggles always freaked me out. And I don't mean Giggles from Happy Tree Friends which my youngest brother—he's only 12 too!—Tidus likes so much.

"Nah. I'm naturally hard-working." I'm honest. From first glance, I may seem like a lazy person, but I'm not…sometimes.

"I see." Olette smiled at me. "Well…I hope you stay."

Wut?

"Stay?"

"Yeah." she sighed. "Every personal secretary sir Vanitas hired always quits on the 3rd day. They can't handle too much of his demands, I may say. Or, if sir Vanitas gets too annoyed with them, he fires them."

"No wonder." I'm still hungry. "

"I'm surprised you're still here after a week."

"Yeah…but Olette?"

"Hmm?"

"Aren't you getting ticked off with him?" I asked, frowning. Who wouldn't get ticked off with the guy's personality? No one obviously. I observed Olette smile and shake her head no.

"No. He's a bit mean, but he's kind when he wants to be. It's fun working in the Fair Enterprises."

"Sure." I shrugged, can't say I'm enjoying working since no one except Olette talks to me.

"Oh well. I hope you keep it up Naminé. I'll be rooting for you! See ya!"

She walked away. And my stomach rumbled. I hate my freaking food urges, so in order to distract myself from a bunch of heavenly food, I resumed on typing. And typing. And typing. And typing. And typing.

"Yo honey."

Oh great.

There stood my boss himself, an amused expression etched on his—coughhandsomecough—fugly face. His crimson red dress shirt was untucked, and the 2 top buttons were undone to show a bit of his collarbones and a glinting pendant of an…*ancient symbol? His suit was just carelessly thrown over one shoulder by his hand, and his other hand jammed in his pocket and his tie was loose. Hot damn, is he doing this on purpose? I may not like him that much but Jesus Christ! He's still hot!

…and then I remembered he called me honey.

I tried to ignore him and got back to work.

"Hey."

_Ignore ignore ignore Ignore ignore ignore ignore ignore ignore ignore—_

"You haven't eaten yet, no?"

"Hmph." I glared at him as angrily as I could, but I AM hungry. I'm not in the mood for bullshit when I am in dire need of heaven. "What's it to you?"

Here goes the smirk. And I'm blushing again.

"Well…I'm not THAT cruel." He tilted his head to the side. "You want to eat with me?"

What.

WHAT.

What in the freaking hell on earth? What? What? What?

"Eat with you? Are you sure you're okay? Do you have malaria or something?"

He just rolled his eyes, closed the laptop—Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu—, and started to drag me at the hallways like a useless ragdoll.

"I can walk by myself, SIR."

"No can do."

People are STARING you ignorant bastard.

"Why not?"

"I can't guarantee that you won't run."

"Geez. Believe me, I can't even run when I'm hungry."

"Really?"

"Yes really."

"Nah."

"I don't understand you."

"Nobody ever does."

Wow. That was deep. "Nobody ever does? What do you mean?"

He turned back to me and smiled. I would've blushed if I didn't notice how bitter the smile was. I wondered why.

"Nah. You won't understand either anyway…"

He dragged me out of FE and then we went to the underground parking to ride the "bike of death".

"You should wear skirts more often." he stuck out his tongue.

The hell?

"Why the hell why?"

"Because you look like a hag in trousers." he snickered. Oh! Do I now! You're the one who looks like…like a—…never mind. Any insult I say isn't even true.

"Hey! Trousers are sexy! And I'm sexy!"

"Psh, I won't believe it until you strip."

"Never mind!" This guy is impossible! One minute he's all bitter and all adorable then he's back to the asshole part. Bipolar much?

* * *

I am amazed.

Thee boss' eyes were literally SPARKLING. Like how Edward shines when he's under the sun. Yeah…I found it creepy at how happy he looks. But that's not the point—the bastard took me to the legen—wait for it!—dary! Red Velvet House! The house for cakes… (is it not obvious enough?)

WTF?

I WANT REAL FOOD. NOT CAKE. 

"A stupid cake house. Really?"

He snorted.

"Not for you, honey. For me."

Oh. Okay. We weren't going to eat here and just order so—wait, rewind! For HIM? Whoa. He doesn't look like the cake type actually, so, I'm supposed to believe that crap? No. Nein, bitches. 

"Okaaay...why?"

"I don't remember that you have the right to be nosy."

"I don't care."

He rolled his eyes as he leaned over the counter, drooling on the cakes that were displayed. I rolled my eyes and turned way disgustedly. Oh my god. Did you see that really flowery and pink and girly cake  _there?_ I would rather eat mocha-flavored cupcakes (and I hate mocha) first before eating  _that_ crap. Men. I don't understand them.

"Well? Come on SIR. I'm tired, hungry, and I wanna finish my damn shift so I can go home."

Vanitas looked at me like I was crazy.

"You only have 11 hours of work, woman."

"That's not the point!"

"Suuuure."

He needs to stop doing that. The cashier at the counter had the nerve to giggle, not at all intimidated by the douchebag's face.

"Your girlfriend, sir?"

"Wife." he grinned.

"No I'm not!" I screeched. "Stop making lies you stupid liar!"

"That's really cute." she giggled again as she gave a box of chocolate fudge brownies and a red velvet cake. "400 munny. Cash or card?"

"Card."

I tried not to stomp around the cake house.

* * *

"What's with you anyway? Cake is awesome."

Finally we're inside a restaurant, in a reserved table. Eating  _real_ food. He was eating his cake, while I eat my steak and salad. This steak is awesome. I should go here more often...

"I know cake is awesome. I'm staying sexy thank you very much."

He snorted.

"I won't believe that until you show me some legs."

"No."

"Hag."

"Douchebag."

"Can't you think of anything else?" 

Well...since he asked for it...

"Cakebag."

He laughed. Yes, the cakebag laughed. I just rolled my eyes and continued to munch on some lettuce.

"Cakebag? Really? Are you serious?"

"Well, you DID say if I have anything else. And you're eating cake. So, cakebag."

"Witch."

"Fatass."

"I am NOT."

Bingo~He got mad, he got mad! He scowled when I grinned at him, jamming a rather large amount of cake in his mouth, his cheeks puffing out. Who knew he actually had it in him to look cute like that?

"Hey," he looked me, eyes questioning as he licked his fork...which is distracting to the max. "Thank you."

The cakebag smirked. "Ah, so she knows proper etiquettes." I rolled my eyes and glared at him. "You're welcome, dearest."

I blushed and just continued to eat. I just noticed; I blush around him often. That's not normal.

"Why are you so red?" he asked.

"It's hot in here." I said quite lamely. Why, who couldn't when someone just saw you blushing like a goo-goo eyed fangirl?

"Um, hello? It's practically Antarctica here." he smirked, a gleam in his catty eyes. Wait, is there even a word "catty"? I'm getting insane. "Ohhhhh, I get it!"

"What!"

"You have a fever!"

Oh.

Thank you God.

"Not...quite." I'd rather wear Kairi's heels than admit to him that he looks cute. No. No no no no no!

"ORLY? I don't think so!" He looked insane. "Hey! Do you know that episode where Barney was a leader of some demented group?"

"Barney? What the hell?"

"I remember! Episode "Sacred Vows"!"

...p-p-p-poker face p-p-poker-face... "What's with that then?"

He grinned as a gleam appeared on his eyes.

"And now, to seal this sacred vow...Two ladies will kiss!" he demanded, pointing to 2 friends, which are girls. They look quite surprised and shocked.

"Hey, aren't you Vanitas Fair?" one of 'em gushed. Eww.

"No, I'm Jeff the Killer."

"Oh—"

" _ **The two ladies will kiss!"**_ he hissed.

I feel sorry for those two. They only shrugged, before they did the grossey thing. Yuck yuck yuck. Vanitas whistled with a creepy smirk.

"And now let us frolic outside!" he  _giggled._ Do men giggle? No? Oh my GOD.

"Wait-wait! And who will pay our damn bill?"

"No problem!"

He pulled out some cash—coughthousandscough—and showered it on top of the table. This man is insane.

"What the hell? Are you high?" I couldn't help it. His eyes were dilated! Like he was on drugs or something! Do red velvet cakes make you high? Sugar high insane?

"Nope! Cake is awesome!"

"Shut the hell up cakebag!"

"Cake is awesome cake is awesome! Nutella is famazing!"

I dragged a hand down my face. I don't know how, or why I became involved with this man. Famazing isn't even a word! I don't know him, he just randomly sat at my table while I'm eating steak and salad and him eating cake and started talking to me. I don't know him, and I deny any form of interaction from him. And we shall keep it like that.


	9. Flirting Is The New Courting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't really looking at the road I was driving. And when you don't look at the road when you drive, it leads to accidents. Accidents means trouble. And trouble means debt. And debt means you would have to pay for the damages. So when I suddenly crashed into the back of a black Hummer, I knew I was in trouble. Uh-oh...
> 
> Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix

**Episode IX - Flirting Is The New Courting**

"What? " Naminé entered Vanitas' office nonchalantly, holding a folder of files and a styrofoam cup of coffee. She raised a unimpressed brow when she saw her "boss" spinning in his chair like a child, his brand new Samsung Galaxy S III held at his ear. The blonde rolled her eyes.  _'Rich people and their logic.'_

"Who're you talking to?" she questioned, but he held his hand up and hushed her.

_**"Who was that Van?"** _

"Nothing. No one important." Naminé crumpled up a one-stick note and threw it at him for the insult.

He evaded it however, and stuck his tongue out at her, smirking mishievously. "You're coming back soon?"

 _ **"You heard me right boy! Me and your mom are coming back soon~"**_   The voice you're hearing is the voice of his legen—wait for it—dary dad, the almighty and godlike Zachery "Zack" Johnson Fair! Put your right arm on your front and bow, you lowly peasants!

"But why?" he groaned, frowning.

 _'I wonder whom he's talking to…'_ Naminé curiously thought as she placed the folder in his desk and sipped on her coffee. Vanitas glanced at her for a moment and winked. Naminé threw in a disgusted face at him in reply.

_**"Why, it's been awhile since we saw you and Skylar! And besides, I wanna see how the company's going under you and your brother's control. Well I suppose?"** _

"Old man,  _I'm_ the one who keeps the company running. Lazy bastard." 

His father laughed at the other line.

 _ **"Now now,"**_  and this, is his mother. Aerith Gainsborough-Fair. His mother was a very eccentric woman, if I may say. She decided to keep her surname because she already had a flower shop business when his father married her. Vanitas was proud to say he inherited her love for cakes. And baking (a secret skill of his?!).

 _ **"Aren't you happy dear?"**_   Vanitas rolled his eyes, but allowed a smile to appear on his face, unconsciously mesmerizing the blonde in front of him. He had stopped spinning in his chair 2 minutes ago, and instead had his feet propped on the table like the boss he is.

"I am, mom."

 _ **"Good to know! Oh!"**_  she giggled.  _ **"I have good news for you too!"**_

"Yes?"

 _ **"She's coming back with us!"**_  Aerith squealed. Vanitas cringed.

"Oh GOD." He facepalmed. "Mom, you know I don't like her!"

 ** _"Nonsense!"_**  Her voice grew strict.  ** _"You already agreed to this Vanitas."_**

"I did NOT."

_**"Even if you refuse to acknowledge that, you can no longer do anything. The contract has already been signed."** _

Vanitas gritted his teeth in irritation. Were things as  _arranged marriage_ even popular today? It's the 21st century!

The 27-year old Fair groaned as he placed his phone down, his brow twitching. Naminé offered him a plate of cake (no idea where it came from) and he took it quickly. "I love you." he sighed as he jammed a piece in his mouth.

"I shall ask again, your honor." she deadpanned. "Who was that?"

"Nosy aren't you?" he asked with a cheeky smirk, though it quickly melted into a sour scowl as he stuffed himself.

"I'm just curious!"

"What's the color of your bra?"

"That's not curiosity you stupid pervert!" she screeched.

"My mom. And dad." he suddenly told her.

"Oh." she glared at him. "You could have me just told it was them you creep." He laughed at her.

"Whatever." he wagged a forkful of cake in her face. "Cake for the poop-faced Naomi?"

"It's NAMINÉ!" she scowled and grabbed the fork, jamming it into her mouth. Vanitas just grinned.

"Heh~" he poked her cheek, the skin flushing in embarrassment. "You're so cute I can bite you."

She swatted the hand away.

"Eww. That...sounded so wrong." she grimaced. "Get your filthy hands away from me you lech."

"Hey, I'm not~"

"Says the guy who had 37 girls calling for you in my station yesterday."

"Really?" Vanitas simply took her hand and placed a kiss on it, making the blonde's face heat up. "What did you do then, honey?"

"I-I ignored them." How can a girl not stutter when a very attractive guy—full of sex appeal too—was practically flirting and eyeraping you? Natalie Ridley IS still a woman you know. So like other women, she allowed herself to lean into his touch for a bit, making the man smirk.

"What can I say?" he huffed cockily. "I'm just good with the ladies." he spun a lock of blonde hair and kissed it too. "You know you love me too."

He pulled away briefly and smirked at her reaction.

From his office, Naminé saw a couple of women looking at them, mostly at her, glaring and obvious envy in their gazes. Vanitas either didn't notice or didn't care because he just continued to stare at her intensely. For some reason, she felt victorious over those girls that obviously wanted to be in her place. She turned redder when she felt him kiss her wrist. 

As nice and... _good_ it felt, Naminé knew this would just lead to nothing. He was a womanizer for god's sake. Only idiots and morons would fall for his tricks. She pinched his hand with her nails, making him flinch away in pain.

"No."

He pouted.

"Why not?" Vanitas didn't understand; no one had ever resisted him. Not even Paine, one of his ex-girlfriends. She looked so  ** _close_  **to giving in dammit. Vanitas never felt so frustrated and displeased in his life as a young adult. Naminé Ridley is a very interesting woman. His eyes roamed her nicely shaped body, and nodded appreciatively discreetly. Sexy too.

"Because SIR," he suppressed a shiver at the call. He didn't understand how those sarcastic remarks and name-calling could actually turn him on and get more interested on her. "You're just an egotistical jerk who is obsessed with cakes." Vanitas smirked smugly. Oh she was so right.

"Really now." he leaned in, intending to steal a kiss, but Naminé had stood up in time, not noticing because she had her eyes on her damn watch. Vanitas groaned in frustration under his breath.

"Sorry sir douche, but I gotta go and do some work done. Au revoir." And she casually trotted off. Vanitas slowly sat back into his seat. A smirk slowly made its sneaky way to his lips, golden eyes determined. 

* * *

Zachery Fair sunk into the plush couch cushions, sighing in relief. He craned his neck left and right, grinning when he heard satisfying cracks. It was about 10:32 PM, 2 minutes after he had called his oldest son Vanitas. He cracked his hands next, but stopped when he heard some tapping on the carpeted floor. He grinned back at the unimpressed face of his wife.

"Hi honey."

"Zack…" she sighed. "I told you to never do that."

"But it feels great!" He stood up and walked to Aerith, quickly wrapping his arms on her waist and lifting her up while spinning.

"Zack!" she giggled, lightly hitting his shoulders. "Oh, put me down, you!"

The ravenet eventually did, but took her right hand in his, doing a small dance of waltz. Aerith smiled fondly.

"I'm so excited to see our sons again." she murmured as they spun.

"Yep!" he laughed. "I know they've done well! I just know it."

"Of course. They're our sons." Zack nodded.

"Eri," he placed his chin on top of her head. "Earlier, before you and Vanitas talked..."

"Oh." she nodded. "What of it, dear?"

"I think I heard a girl there." Aerith stopped moving.

"It must be his girlfriend or something." Aerith sighed.

"Honey, that can't happen. Vanitas already has  _her_  right?"

"Ehh," Zack scratched the back of his head, yawning. "You're still planning to get them together, Eri?"

"Zack." she said sternly. "We talked about this already. What's done is done. Vanitas has to do it for the sake of our family and theirs."

"I guess…? But what about Sora?"

"Sweet Sora can do anything he pleases." she said with a smile.

Zack suppressed the urge to frown. Aerith always seemed to prefer Sora than Vanitas. The blue-eyed man could do nothing but sigh.  _'That's cause you were the one who agreed, my dear.'_  Zack just nodded reluctantly.

* * *

 

**_"Oh my god! Really?!"_ **

"Yes, Katherine. And I pinched myself a lot of times already, so, no. This is not a dream." Naminé replied as she spun a lock of blonde hair.

 _ **"Did you kiss?"**_  Kairi asked excitedly.

"Pfft. No!" Naminé rolled her eyes. "I mean well...he looked as if he was going to kiss me—"

And Naminé never got to finish her sentence all because of Katherine Lois Rhapsodos' almighty fangirl squeal.

**_"My spidey senses are tingling!"_ **

"You're not Peter Parker idiot."

_**"That's because I am Kairi Rhapsodos. Who's your God now?"** _

"You make me sound like a doorknob—"

Stranger used Phone Snatch! Naminé got confused! Naminé used Look Up! Stranger used Jealous Glare! Naminé used Glare Back! It's not very effective! Stranger used Trashtalk!

"Who do you think you are? Thinking you can seduce sir Vanitas?"

Naminé evaded the attack!

"Puh-lease. The last thing I'd do is kiss your 'boss'. He's not even my type."

A wild Stranger appeared! Stranger Number 2 used Hoe-y Eye Roll!

"Nuh-nuh. We saw it ALL earlier. You sneaky little bitch; thinking you can take our boss away from us with your fuglyness huh?"

Naminé used Smirk! Naminé used Provoke! It's super effective!

"Oh, that right? I see…BITCH please. What you saw was just a little warm-up. That ain't even half of what I could do. 'Sides, you're just jealous because your boss pays attention to ME and not YOU because I'm sexy." she rolled her eyes. "Oh and, you," Naminé pointed to the first girl, a brunette. "You're fatter than the local couch potato."

The brunette and greenette were both red-faced from anger. Naminé could care less if they had a bitch fit either. Naminé wasn't one to back down in a fight either, and avoiding it won't do anything either. So fight back you cowards! Fire against fire! 50 Shades of Grey Against Twilight! Goku versus Naruto!

"What did you say?" the brunette growled.

"You're fatter than a fatass and that anorexic friend of yours looks like Slenderman." Naminé replied with a bored yawn. "Phone back please?"

The one more girl appeared in front of her. What, Mean Girls? Ooh, scary~

"You're just new here. What's gives you the right to act like some boss huh?"

"I'm not the one who started it." Naminé replied.

"Bull!" the "Slenderman" said, crocodile tears sliding down her face. "So totally not true!"

"Aww, Kris, don't cry!"

 _'This is so stupid. Soap opera shit.'_  Naminé dragged a hand down her face. " **PHONE** , please?"

The brunette looked at Naminé and the phone before smirking. Naminé blinked in surprise. "This is a really nice phone."

"N'awww, stop it you."

"It'd be a waste if I do this!" The girl suddenly upped and threw the phone straight out into the glass window, shattering the glass and making Naminé scream in outrage. Oh no no. Mess with the phone, you mess with Naminé Ridley.

"What the fuck!"

Co-workers rushed to the scene as they heard a scream. Olette hurriedly pushed through the crowd just in time to see Naminé get pulled to the floor and have her hair pulled by one of the bitches in the company.

"Naminé!" Olette gasped. "Olivia! Stop it!"

Oh, don't you just love to see this kind of thing?

"Shut up Olette!" Naminé threw the brunette a sly smirk, which actually confused Olette a bit until Naminé discreetly nodded to the glass doors.

After all, the glass behind her was completely see-through and Vanitas was storming out of his office to see the commotion.

Freddie Mercury moment! Bam!

* * *

"I can't believe you." Vanitas twitched as he gave her a spare hairtie (one of his many ex-girlfriend's hairties) and some wet wipes for the smudges in her clothes and body. Namely dirt and make-up.

"Well, I can't believe YOU." Naminé snorted. "I mean, it was just a small fight. What was the big deal for you to fire them?" Naminé winced as she wiped off some smeared lipstick off her arms. Just where in the world did the crazy potato touch her? Ewww.

Vanitas glared right back. "Moron. I don't tolerate petty catfights in my company. Break a rule and you're fired. Without paycheck."

"Then why didn't you fire me to?" she whined.

"Rule 73: Anyone who initiates a fight will be the one to be fired. Not the victim."

"Damn. I should've initiated it." Naminé grimaced as she smoothened out the wrinkles in her blouse. "Damn woman got some nails. This is my favorite blouse too."

"Heh." He grinned. "Even if you were the one who started that, I wouldn't fire you at all."

"Why?" Seriously. Naminé was really curious.

"I can't have my future wife unhappy now right?" he laughed.

Naminé rolled her eyes, rolled up a unused magazine, and hit him on the head. "You owe me another phone, sir."

* * *

210 floors down below, a homeless man is currently rejoicing for a phone that fell out of the Fair Enterprises, completely intact and working.

The power of Nokia.


	10. Crushes Over Coffee? That's New

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't really looking at the road I was driving. And when you don't look at the road when you drive, it leads to accidents. Accidents means trouble. And trouble means debt. And debt means you would have to pay for the damages. So when I suddenly crashed into the back of a black Hummer, I knew I was in trouble. Uh-oh...
> 
> Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix

 

 

**Episode X - Crushes Over Coffee? That's New.**

  
****NAMINÉ's POV** **

* * *

_/BABY YOU LIGHT UP MY WORLD LIKE NOBODY ELSE! THE WAY THAT YOU FLIP YOUR HAIR GETS ME SO OVERWHELMED! BUT WHEN YOU SMILE—/_

As soon as that song blared on my alarm so loudly, I was fully awake as I slammed the snooze. I sure did the right thing placing this horrible song as my awakening tone. And my clock clock alarm that my daddy Rufus made especially for me! …I miss dad and his weird experiments. I sat up, seeing it was still early—5:30AM—and stretched. I don't have any work today. It's Sunday. Hurray for Sundays I guess. Let me rub a little of that crust on my eyes, will you?

It's been years since I left Midgar to finish studying in Radiant Garden. When you're a Midgar citizen, you have to leave at 16 to live and work in another city and come back until you're of legal age. And it's been years since I was home. Train rides to Midgar were extremely expensive, so, I can't do anything about it. I always wonder about my family there. If they're safe or not, and they're all I think about if I'm not doing anything. Because really, being away from your family and being away from where you grew up in is no joke. You get homesick, and wish that you were in the safety of your family's arms. I miss home.

My family, it composed of my daddy, Rufus, my older brother Cloud (his friends call him Cloud Strife because he always gets into fights with Sephiroth, the big jackass), little ol' me, and Tidus, our youngest brother. Our mother? Our mother is none other than Yvonne Esmeralda Shinra. Why Shinra? Thine shalt explain later. My mom doesn't use her birthname that much. She preferred to be called "Shoko", for reasons which I don't know. This is how Tidus got his coppery blonde hair. Cloud and I mostly got our looks from dad.

Another thing about mom and dad: they're badass. Really. They love and use shotguns. Period. Now, back to Shinra topic. We weren't really called Ridley. SHINRA. S to the H to the I to the N to the R to the A. Thing is, my great ol' dad was a mighty president of a company once. However, he met mom. Parents didn't like her. Dad disowned himself for mom. Parents are now on a manhunt (still are) for him. And of course, for our safety, we hid under the surname Ridley! So yeah. I am Natalie Samantha Shinra, aka Naminé Ridley. It helps actually, so I wouldn't need to hide with a ridiculous disguise.

I sighed.

"Gotta get up…!"

Something ticklish invaded my foot. When I looked down, it was only my cute grey tabby cat, rubbing himself on my ankles. His name was Karu! Karu's a complete angel! I don't know why people deem cats as spawns of Satan…I picked him up.

"Goooood morning Karu!"

"Meow."

"Do you know what time it is?" I asked. Karu tilted his head. "Breakfast!"

I carried him to the kitchen. It's quite lonely living alone, so I bought little Karupin here. He's basically the only thing that makes things lively here (well, kinda. Get off my back.). But like any other cat, he's so keen on catching the mortal enemy: the red dot! AKA the laser pointer! I would've picked a dog, but a cat's more smaller and easier to manage.

While I was eating some Nutella-spread toast, my (new Samsung Galaxy S. Courtesy of my 'kind' boss) phone rang. Kairi.

* * *

 

**From: Kaiririii**

**To: You**

_Eiii bestie! Weathers naiz, let's g0 sh0pping...!_

* * *

 

People and their spelling…would it kill them to type and text PROPERLY?

My god!

* * *

 

**To: Kaiririii**

**From: You**

_*Hey, *best friend, *Weather's, *nice, *go, *shopping. " Geez Kairi…_

* * *

 

**From: Kaiririii**

**To: You**

_\\(-.-)/ Dun be such a grammar nazi. So…bak 2 topic! Shopping? ^^_

* * *

 

* * *

**To: Kaiririii**

**From: You**

_Fiiiiine._

_What time?_

* * *

 

**From: Kaiririii**

**To: You**

_Nowz! I'm coming to pick you up! Now if you'll excuz me, I'm goin to do ma nails! See you when I get thur! K? OK!_

* * *

 

Sometimes I wonder how I'm friends with this crazy redhead. And how I manage to understand her words. From the words of SandraMJ on deviantART: Friends are POWAHH!

Whatever. Right now, it's Nutella time.

* * *

 

"Oh oh! Look at that! It's soooo cute!"

Naminé twitched. It's a strapless olive green dress. It wouldn't match Kairi at all.

"Nami!" Kairi grinned as she picked the dress off it's rack and placed it in front of her. "Whaddya think? Is it nice?"

"Meh." Naminé yawned. "Green doesn't really suit you. Sure it complements your hair, but it makes you look like a upside-down radish. Try that red one over there." she spoke without thinking.

Kairi was gaping at her.

"What?" the blonde asked, voice squeaking.

"Oh my god. You're turning into a real woman Nami! You're so totally right!" Kairi laughed as she placed the dress back into the rack. Naminé rolled her eyes. "We should buy some dresses for you too." Kairi offered.

Naminé crossed her arms in front of her, eyes wide. "Challenge denied!"

"Just you wait here! I'm going to find you the perfect dress!"

"No need Kairi! I'm fine with my current clothing! Really!"

Kairi just glared at her and crossed her arms. Naminé helplessly roamed her eyes around the store, finding a way to escape Kairi's eyes of doom. After all, once Kairi made a decision, it's impossible to change her mind. You just have to rely on miracles to change her mind.

"Says the one who barely filled 1/3 of her walk-in closet."

Naminé winced. Right in the pride!

"So~" Kairi devilishly grinned. "Ta-ta~!"

"Wait! Kairi—!"

But the redhead was already gone, leaving her blonde friend exasperated.

Friends: Takes you where they shop.

Best friends: Leave you to shop for you.

But Naminé loved Kairi dearly, so, she just let it slip.

* * *

In Kairi's side, the redhead was busy browsing through Destiny's Embrace Clothing Store, her favorite store to shop clothes at. She nimbly went through the cute and frilly dresses, disregarding ones that didn't match her fabulous tastes. She would take one, examine it for awhile, and if she liked it, she'd dump it on the growing pile on her right arm. A manager would come once in awhile, but being the fashionable Rhapsodos she is, she simply shooed them off.

That's how Kairi's level of awesomeness is.

The redhead tilted her head as she examined a purple dress with ribbons at the straps. Fair enough. She was about to take it when an interesting bob of brown spikes caught her attention. The person was searching through a pile of coughlingeriecough. And judging from his expression, he was very, and utterly confused. Kairi wanted to laugh.

"If you're looking for clothes, they're in this section."

The person turned around in surprise.

Kairi's eyes widened.

"O-oh!" she blinked owlishly. "You're Skylar aren't you?"

"Y-yeah..." he rubbed the back of his head, embarrassed for being caught. "Wait—you're that girl from before right?"

"Yes." Kairi smiled.

She gasped in surprise when he suddenly grabbed her hands, causing her to drop the dresses out of shock. His gorgeous blue eyes were sparkling. It made Kairi flush.

"C-can you please help me out?!"

Kairi blinked.

"Help you...?"

This seemed too good to be true. Here was Skylar Fair, a near-celebrity, holding her hands and looking so cute. Imagine it! Kairi and Sora~in the middle of a busy clothing store, holding hands and staring into each other's eyes passionately! It's so romantic! Then, then, Sora would slowly lean in, wrapping his arms around her while she smiles dreamily...then, then—

"Yes! Please help me—"

"Soraaaaaaaaaa!  _ **Where**_ the  _ **fuck**_ are you?!" a loud, shrilly and feminine voice broke out, making the duo wince. Sora swore under his breath. Too late.

A long-haired brunette (her hair reached the floor!) with amethyst eyes ran straight towards the boy and tackled him hard, making all air escape from his lungs as he collided with the floor. It wasn't helping that the girl was straddling his stomach. Kairi gasped.

"A-Alice...!"

"You liar! You liar!" she growled. "You told me that dress was cheap!"

"It  ** _is_  **cheap!"

"You call 30,000 munny  **cheap?!** " she screeched, glaring down at him viciously.

The woman called Alice crossed her arms at her chest, cheeks red from anger. Kairi could do nothing but stand there and gawk.

"You have enough munny!" Sora wheezed. "You're a Baskerville aren't you~"

"Don't use that on me! Glen confiscated my credit card!"

"Well make Gilbert pay then!"

She snorted. "I'd rather die than use seaweed's money! Gross! I might get some plankton or something..."

"Well I—"

"Alice!"

Arms slipped through Alice's arms and hoisted her up, said brunette struggling. Kairi recognized this blonde as the blonde from before: Oz, AKA Ozzy!

"Ugh...! About time you got here Oz!"

"Sorry, hehehe." he grinned as he helped Sora up. "You okay man?"

"Barely." Sora and Alice got on a mini-glaring contest before turning away childishly. Oz laughed at the little show, and when he noticed an out-of-place Kairi, his eyes twinkled.

"Why hello there~" he said with a charming grin, taking her hand in his. Kairi blushed. "You're a beautiful lady. My name is Oz. You are...?"

"K-Katherine." Kairi gulped.  _'Oh, Naminé will so kill to be in my place.'_ she thought with a dreamy grin.

"It's nice to meet you Katherine!" he chirped, before he bent down to kiss her hand.

Oh, she never loved her name until now. And dat hand. She will never wash it.

EVER.

Sora and Alice must have noticed the interaction because the latter had just yanked the blonde by the collar, purple eyes dangerous.

"Ack!"

"You fucking womanizer!" she began to shake him with a tight grip on the poor (very poor) blonde's neck. "I'm your girlfriend so pay attention to  **me!** "

"A-Alice! Y-yes ma'am!"

Sora laughed nervously as he took Kairi's arm, not really wanting to be a part of the brunette's anger. After all, Alice Baskerville was one hell of a woman! It's a wonder how Oz managed to get the sadistic brunette as his girlfriend! Sora was convinced his friend was a masochist and preferred to be topped. *COUGH COUGH*

"W-why don't we get out of here? Yes? No?"

Kairi just nodded.

She completely forgot about her best friend and her shopping crisis.

* * *

"I want to thank you somehow!"

"Really! There's no need!" Kairi flailed her arms. "It's free of charge!" she giggled.

Sora laughed.

Somehow, the two found themselves sitting on a table at Starbucks, drinking an Espresso and a Frap, chatting merrily as if they were friends for life. Sora had wanted to repay Kairi back for getting him, Roxas and Oz out how trouble from that day. And the ever genius (no sarcasm) Sora used the good ol' coffee date—err, treat-you-to-coffee tactic. Quite sweet eh? The brunette was starting to like the redhead (as a friend for starters).

"No no." Sora grinned back. "I insist. I owe you."

"By coffee?"

"Would you rather prefer a kiss?" he joked.

"I don't mind." Kairi stuck her tongue out, making Sora blush. She laughed. "Just kidding!"

 _'Phew! For a second there, I thought she was serious!'_ Sora scratched the back of his head sheepishly, embarrassed.

Kairi tucked a lock of red hair behind her ear. While she did this though, Sora took this moment to observe her. Glossy wine red hair, gorgeous purplish-blue eyes, fair skin, and has quite the fashion style...with how she talks and acts, the brunette got the impression she was the girly-girl gal. But the good kind. She has some sense of humor too, something Sora liked in women. The brunette raised the rim of the cup and drank, closing his eyes in thought. But of course, it's not like Sora likes her already. Sora preferred to be friends with a girl first. If she turned out to be fake, AKA a backstabber or a gold digger, then...buh-bye. He may be a friendly person, but he'd really appreciate it if you don't take it for granted. And he doesn't hit girls. Men who hit or beat women shows they are big pansies who doesn't even deserve the loving touches of a woman~

Sora grinned into his cup.

"I want to thank you again. For getting us out of trouble back there." he sincerely said.

"It's no problem!" She grinned, her face a lit.

"Now," he set his cup down and stared at her. "Do you mind if we do a little Q&A?"

"Shoot!"

"How do you know my cousin Roxas?"

Sora is genuinely curious as to how. Roxas never liked talking about himself; he only did if someone forced him by some sort of bribery. Like sea-salt ice cream. Maybe she was an old friend...? Or yet, ex-girlfriend?

"Roxy?" Sora nearly choked. "I knew Roxy a long time ago. Since high school, actually!"

"O-oh..."

"He was my best friend's, Naminé, ex-boyfriend. Wait..." She gasped, eyes widening. "Shiiiiiiiiit!" she paled, making Sora blink in surprise.

"What's wrong?"

"I was supposed to buy some clothes for her! My god, she's going to kill me. Merde  _ **(Shit)**_!"

Her profanity. Most girls didn't openly cuss in front of him, but this woman did. Sora found it quite...hot.

"I'm sorry!" she quickly stood up, looking at her watch. "But I really,  _really_ have to go! She's going to SLAUGHTER me!"

"W-wait!" Sora grasped her wrist and quickly wrote his number on a tissue paper. "Here."

She raised a single brow and smiled at him.

"I should be the one doing this!" she giggled, before taking the tissue. "Ciao~" she threw him a wink and ran off, leaving Sora completely mesmerized. About a minute later, he snapped out of it and chuckled.

Is this what it feels like to be smitten?

* * *

Naminé looked around the store she was standing in front of.

It's been 2 hours.

Where the hell did her best friend go? To Mars?


	11. The Bride and Her Paupers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't really looking at the road I was driving. And when you don't look at the road when you drive, it leads to accidents. Accidents means trouble. And trouble means debt. And debt means you would have to pay for the damages. So when I suddenly crashed into the back of a black Hummer, I knew I was in trouble. Uh-oh...
> 
> Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix

 

**Episode XI - The Bride and Her Paupers**

* * *

 

A red Chevrolet pulled up in front of Naminé's apartment complex. Two nearly identical ladies, one with short obsidian hair and the other with wine red hair, stepped out of the car. Meet the Rhapsodos Sisters (you already know Kairi, so technically, meet Xion) of Radiant Garden! Two of a kind but nonetheless, look-alikes!  
  
Kairi took her twin sister's right arm and two started to run excitedly through the bleak walls and to their blonde friend's unit, despite their 5-inched wedges. They eventually stopped in front of a door that read 215. Kairi and Xion glanced at each other before kicking the door open in synchronized harmony. The curtains were still drawn, and there were no clinks in the kitchen or anywhere, which means Naminé was probably asleep. It was past 9—the blonde normally woke up around 7:30.  
  
"Ninja mode!" Xion grinned as she silently crossed the carpeted flooring, to the powder blue door across; Naminé's room.  
  
And as expected, she was blissfully asleep, arms around a pillow tightly while her cat was curled up behind her. Kairi squealed and hugged the cat tight, the feline yelped in surprise and struggled in the redhead's arms, but to no avail. It just mewled helplessly.  
  
"Mmmnngh…" Naminé grunted, throwing her covers over her head.  
  
Xion wouldn't have it though.  
  
"Good morning sunshine!" the woman cruelly threw the covers away. Naminé moaned in protest.  
  
"5 more minutes…"  
  
"Wake up! Wake up! Wake up, you whore!" Kairi laughed as she jumped on Naminé. The blonde screamed in surprise.  
  
"Ow! Kairi! Get off!"  
  
Naminé grunted and sat up, hair in all sorts of tangled from it's messiness. The twins burst out laughing. Karu slid out of Kairi's grasp and haughtily walked back to his master, purring when she rubbed his head.  
  
"Ugh." she glared at Rhapsodos twins. "Bad morning to the two of you too."  
  
Xion simply grinned back.  
  
"Oh come on Nams." she sat beside the disgruntled blonde. "It's a nice day! And besides, don't you remember what day it is today?"  
  
Naminé yawned, reaching for her Starbucks planner at her bedside table. Karu and Kairi were busy playing tag to notice, the cat slid under the couch, and Kairi whined, coaxing it to get out.  
  
"Let's see, let's see…Xion Day…" she quickly sifted through the pages then suddenly closed it. "Nope." Naminé went back to a cocoon.  
  
"Naminé…!" Xion pouted. "It's Picking A Wedding Dress Day!"  
  
"I don't wanna…I want to sleep…" Naminé groaned in a muffled voice.  
  
"Nami…" Xion giggled. "Come on Naminé. It's my wedding after all, and YOU'RE the maid of honor."  
  
"Psh. Yeah. You're getting married to the douche." Naminé scoffed. "Why didn't you and Kairi tell me it was him? And I haven't even eaten breakfast yet."  
  
"Well…" Xion bit her lip guiltily.  
  
Naminé threw the covers back, but when she saw Xion's conflicted look, she just melted. Xion had this effect on making you turn into a puddle. She's so sweet; no one could stay mad at her for so long. Even ol' Naminé Shinra—err Ridley. Nobody knew her real surname, even Kairi and Xion.  
  
"Awww," Naminé sighed. "I'm sorry Xi."  
  
Xion shook her head.  
  
"It's alright. I wouldn't blame you, Naminé. I understand you're still a bit bitter—"  
  
"I am not." she said flatly, making the ravenette's face to heat up. "I'm just a bit miffed."  
  
"I'm sorry for not telling you Nami…"  
  
Naminé smiled at her. Seeing this, the other woman smiled back.  
  
"Fine then." Naminé stood up on her feet. "For your wedding, I am going to be cooperative." Xion's eyes lit up. "BUT, don't expect me to be all comfy with your douche of a fiancée."  
  
"Affirmative!" Xion grinned.  
  
"Now I'm just going to take a shower and—" There was a horrifying crash, Kairi's scream, and then Karupin's startled yowl. Do the math. "—fix some shit up." Naminé facepalmed.

* * *

 

Naminé reluctantly fingered the two clothing articles in Kairi and Xion's hands. The one in Kairi's hand was a light pink dress, and Xion held a white tank top and a deep green skirt.  
  
Beads of water fell down as she rigorously shook her head.  
  
"But I can't possibly—"  
  
"Nuh-uh." Xion smiled. "Your closet has been cleared out and replaced y'know! Did you know you had 18th century knickers in there?" she snickered.  
  
Naminé bit back an embarrassed blush.  
  
"We live in modern day Earth Nami! So live like one!" Kairi grinned. "Not like your great great great great great grandma."  
  
"S-shut up." Naminé snatched the dress in Kairi's hands, the redhead's lips splitting in a smile. "I'm going to get changed then." she grumbled, stomping off in her room, placing her cat out, then slamming it close. The cat only meowed in confusion.  
  
"Phew! I thought she wouldn't ever finish choosing!" Kairi melodramatically threw her hands up in the air. "What's so hard about clothes?"  
  
"Give her a break, sis. You know she ain't that fashionably inclined."  
  
"I beg to differ, sis." Kairi smirked.  
  
"Huh? What do you mean?"  
  
"She gave ME advice the day we went shopping." Kairi giggled. "And to top it off, she was right."  
  
"Really?" Xion laughed.  
  
"Yeah! Well—" Kairi was distracted by her phone ringing. "Oui? Moi?"  
  
"French?" the person laughed. "It's me, miss Kairi."  
  
"Oh!" Xion watched in curiosity as her sister blushed, a girly grin appearing on her face. "Hi!"  
  
"Hey yourself."  
  
"What can I do for you today?" the redhead asked, spinning a lock of red hair.  
  
"Nothing." Sora chuckled. "I'm bored."  
  
Xion looked at the redhead imploringly, and when Kairi noticed, she only threw her a silent squeal. The younger Rhapsodos could only laugh nervously and stalked off to play with Naminé's cat instead—everyone loves cats anyway!  
  
"Bored? You're rich aren't you? Why not go to a bar or something?" Kairi suggested. "Better yet, why not play games?"  
  
"Nahhhh," he sighed, and there was some rustling of clothes. He probably rolled. Or something. "I tried it all. I'm still bored. BUT! I remembered you and I was like, "Why not?". I like talking to you."  
  
That made Kairi's heart flutter.  
  
She sighed dreamily, the brunet's face surfacing in her mind.  
  
"Really? Well, I'm honored!" Kairi giggled.  
  
And so the rest was too sweet for the author to handle.  
  
Naminé exited her room, only to find Xion playing with her cat, and Kairi giggling and blushing like a schoolgirl on the phone in her couch. The blond irritably crossed her arms.   
  
"Yeah, sure." she snorted. "Go and feel at home. I thought we were going to pick Xion's wedding dress?"  
  
"We ARE." Kairi snorted. "But you take too damn long, woman!"  
  
Xion laughed at her.  
  
"Wow Nami! You look really lovely in that dress!"  
  
She blushed! Oh how cute! Xion giggled at the blonde's embarassed flush, resisting the urge to pinch the blonde's cheeks. Kairi rolled her pretty blue eyes.  
  
"You ALWAYS look lovely in everything." Kairi said with a half-bitter smirk.  
  
Kairi had a point. Naminé groaned quietly under her breath. She could never outwin Kairi. AND she's with Xion too, so, crap. Two against one, how unfair.  
  
"Well!" Xion chirped. "I think it's time to go! Rinoa's already waiting for us!"  
  
"Wait—about Roxy?" Kairi asked.  
  
"And breakfast." Naminé deadpanned.  
  
Xion simply smiled. "He's still a bit busy with work."  
  
Naminé just kept silent as they continued to walk.  
  
In fact, she couldn't care less at all for the other blonde. I mean, why should she? It's not like she was the bitter-type who chooses to linger in the idiotic past. It IS her life. Deal with it. Besides, she DID have a certain dangerously handsome someone with spiky raven hair and golden eyes. Who liked to annoy yet seduce her at the same time. Naminé just blushed before slapping herself.  
  
"Let's go!" Kairi hauled her sister and best friend out of the room.

* * *

Lady Luck Studios.  
  
Naminé cringed at the name of the store. She always hated this store. Why? Because it only seemed small on the outside, not on the fudging inside! She got lost easily. A woman with brown hair poked her head out of the store, wearing an almost forced spgrin as she went out to meet them.  
  
"Heeeey Rin!" Kairi waved.  
  
"Well! Someone took their time getting here." Rinoa Heartily commented with a smirk laced with irritation.  
  
"Sorry! Someone took their time getting ready!" Kairi snickered.  
  
"Haha. Phoney baloney." Naminé scoffed.  
  
"Enough chit-chat! Let's go! Xion, the dress designer is inside! She's waiting."  
  
Naminé detached herself from the trio to wander around, opting to get lost than be asked for an opinion. She whistled Utada Hikaru's Apple and Cinnamon under her breath, smiling when she remembered her plans for tonight: Apple pie! The thought made her grin. Naminé wandered around the store, fingering some clothes she quite liked and went around some more. But just out of the blue though, a distressed blonde with braids came out of one of the rooms, carrying a white, strapless wedding dress. It looked to be about Naminé's size…  
  
"Oh!" the blonde smiled with relief. "It seems like a very stupid request but can you please try this dress on?"  
  
"W-what?"  
  
"Pleaaaaaaaaase?" the woman pleaded, hands clasped. "It's just I mixed up my client's size and you look just like her size! Can you please try it on?"  
  
"B-but I—" Naminé tried to refuse.  
  
"Come on! Come on! Please say yes! Just for a few moments!"  
  
Naminé sighed tiredly.  
  
"Fiiiiiine."  
  
"Yay!" she cried. "Rikku by the way!"  
  
The woman named Rikku began to shove her into a showcase room. You know, the one with the circular white stage and bright bright white white walls and lights with huge mirrors? Yeah. That one. Let's call it the white room at the moment. Everything was white! Naminé thought it was weird she liked this room.  
  
Naminé approached the white curtains, pulled it open, and stepped inside, sparing the giddy Rikku a glance which she returned with a go-on-motion. Sighing, she closed the curtains and began to fit the dress. Oh! But what light through yonder window breaks! Thine monsieur Roxas Hyde has entered! And mademoiselle Rikku he approached!  
  
"Rikku, what are you doing here?"  
  
"Oh! Roxas!"  
  
"Who's in there?" he smiled.  
  
Rikku shrugged.  
  
"I don't know. She looks about Xion's size, but…I think I messed up her size darnit! That's why I'm making sure." Rikku noticed what he was wearing. "Oh look who's handsome in his wedding suit~" she cooed.  
  
Roxas coughed, cheeks red.  
  
"S-shut up. Why don't you let Xion try it then? She's there with Kairi already."  
  
"What?! Aw crap." Rikku facepalmed. "Hey Rox, can you stay here for a few minutes then? I still need to make some arrangements, so…I'll be right back! And give the girl some company while at it will ya!?"  
  
The woman left the white room cheerfully, leaving the blonde with no time to respond. Roxas let out a sigh as he unbuttoned one of his shirt's collar. He was really getting married, and he almost risked it by telling Naminé—  
  
The curtain hissed open.  
  
"Hey um, Rikku…it fits perfectly." He froze. "What do you think—"  
  
Roxas and Naminé's wide eyes met each other through the mirrors. The blonde gasped and blushed, whirling around to face the intruder.  
  
What what what WHAT THE HELL is ROXAS doing here?  
  
"R-Roxas!" she choked.  
  
"Naminé…? But—how—what—why—?"  
  
"Roxas? I thought Xion said you were busy with work and—wait, why ARE you here anyway?"  
  
"I was…" he looked away. "I planned to surprise Xion…guess I was the one who was surprised…"  
  
"Um, yeah…"  
  
There, his ex-girlfriend, Naminé Ridley stood before him in a wedding dress, and looking impossibly fitting for a bride. Just add in a veil and it's all complete. Roxas coughed awkwardly in his hand.  
  
"You never told me you're getting married…"  
  
She turned bright red.  
  
"N-no! Idiot." she huffed. "I just—"  
  
"Oh! It's the right size after all!"  
  
The two blondes looked at the other blonde that entered the room. Rikku was grinning proudly.  
  
"Oh wow! You look realy great in that dress too!"  
  
"T-thanks."  
  
"By the way! You can go remove it now. Turn's out my client is already here!" she giggled, before waltzing out of the room. Literally.  
  
Naminé and Roxas' eyes met. It lasted for about a minute before Naminé pulled the curtains close to change. Roxas looked away.  
  
That was so awkward.

* * *

"See?!"  
  
Xion did a little twirl on her wedding dress. If only Roxas could see her, he'd definitely say it's beautiful on her. Kairi gave her sister two thumbs up, smiling fondly while Naminé leaned against the redhead.  
  
"I did a great job with that!" Rikku huffed, proud of her masterpiece.  
  
"Of course! You're mom's best apprentice." Kairi winked.  
  
"Of course! I looooooove Tifa!" Rikku grinned.  
  
Naminé approached the ravenette, who was lost in her little world of happiness. Xion smiled happily at her.  
  
"I'm so happy for you, Xi." Naminé sincerely said, smiling back.  
  
"Thank you, Naminé. I'm so happy!"  
  
 _ **'You should be! It's YOUR wedding!'**_   Inner Nami was bawling tears of joy. Naminé rolled her eyes at her 'inner voice' and looked at her friend.  
  
"Remember Xion, if the douche hurts you," she sent a vicious glare towards the spiky-haired blonde, who was now beside Sora behind the one-way mirror, meaning it was them (Naminé and company) who could see the two boys. "Don't be afraid to tell me and Kai. It's not your wedding yet but I'm saying this in advance. I'm doing this for YOUR happiness Xi."  
  
"Naminé…" Xion's smile was watery, but sweet and she was definitely touched.  
  
"Don't mention it!"  
  
Xion glanced at Kairi. The redhead gave her a thumbs up.  
  
"Thanks girls."  
  
They exchanged a small group hug. Rikku "awww"-ed in the background.  
  
"Hey…" the three turned to her. "Now that I see it…you three look kinda alike!"  
  
"Pfft." Xion giggled. "I guess our roles in the original Kingdom Hearts universe has taken toll."  
  
"Guess so. Hey Nami, you're a memory witch in there right?" Kairi said.  
  
"Yeah…I'm so out of character too." Naminé murmured, her hands itching to draw something.  
  
"Not only you Naminé." Kairi sighed. "Me too."  
  
"Me three, I guess." Xion joined.  
  
The trio looked at each other.  
  
"TRIPLETS!" they joyously cried, hugging each other.  
  
The three got slapped in the head with a script by an angry (author) director wearing cat ears.  
  
"Get back into your characters!" she hissed.  
  
"That hurt Miss Neko!"  
  
"I stayed in character!" Rikku cheered.  
  
Ignore the apparent 4th wall breaking.

* * *

"Today was real fun." Xion commented as they sat on a sofa in Starbucks.  
  
"I'd have to agree on that." Naminé smiled.  
  
Kairi dreamily twirled her straw and sighed, having a lovesick grin on her face. Naminé noticed as she bit into a Fritz cracker.  
  
"Kai? Katherine?"  
  
"Sis, you okay?"  
  
Kairi only giggled.  
  
"I'm fine."  
  
Naminé raised an unimpressed brow.  
  
"Oh really?"  
  
"Yes really."  
  
"My spidey senses tell me you're not." she slapped her hand on the redhead's forehead, making said redhead wince and glare at her. "You have…Lovever!"  
  
"A what?" Xion asked, laughing.  
  
"Lovever! LA-vee-ver. Love fever! Somethings telling me you're in-love."  
  
Kairi turned into mush after that.  
  
"Oh GOD." Naminé grimaced in horror. "You ARE in-love! You're…" She poked the puddle that used to be her best friend. "…goo!"  
  
Xion laughed harder.  
  
"You didn't tell me you have another guy on your hands." Naminé frowned.  
  
"We're not an item…yet." Kairi smiled. Their jaws dropped.  
  
"Are you serious?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Impossible." Xion bit into her cupcake. "Any guy'd ask you out the first moment they see you!"  
  
"Do they?" Kairi asked obliviously.  
  
"DUH." they chorused. Kairi laughed nervously.  
  
"Well…"  
  
"Do you REALLY like this guy Kairi?" Xion asked worriedly.  
  
Kairi is still her sister. Xion didn't want her to be hurt, because a very heartbroken Kairi is never a nice scene. It's too bad she fell in-love so easily. She wore her heart at her sleeve. Kairi smiled at her younger sister.  
  
"I'm sure. But…this time, I think I want to know him better. What he's like, and how he acts around the others. He's sweet, but I don't wanna get all hopey. We never know right?"  
  
Naminé smiled.  
  
"At last, dear Katherine, you have finally opened your eyes. You learned well, grasshopper."  
  
"I'm not a grasshopper. I'm a butterfly."  
  
"Little Alexandria, do tell our grasshopper I am her master." Naminé grinned as her and Xion exchanged a high-five.  
  
"Master!"

* * *

A pink phone rang. Of course a person picked it up. Unless there was an alien in there.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
 _ **"Dear, are you ready to go?"**_  
  
The person smiled.  
  
"Why yes!" emerald eyes sparkled with excitement and joy. "I can't wait, auntie."  
  
'Auntie' giggled.  
  
 _ **"I was expecting that! I'm sure Vanitas is expecting you as well."**_  
  
And 'auntie' hanged up. This person placed the phone down. This person's lips turned into a huge smile, giggling at the thought of seeing her beloved Vanitas. They hadn't exactly seen each other since they were 18, so this person was quite excited.  
  
Granted, he was her fiancée after all.


	12. Phone Invasion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't really looking at the road I was driving. And when you don't look at the road when you drive, it leads to accidents. Accidents means trouble. And trouble means debt. And debt means you would have to pay for the damages. So when I suddenly crashed into the back of a black Hummer, I knew I was in trouble. Uh-oh...
> 
> Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix

**Episode XII - Phone Invasion**

****HER POV** **

* * *

Okay. Just what exactly is this.

  
A note hang in front of many dresses, normal skirts, office skirts, and white dress shirts I did NOT recognize as mine. These aren't mine! Wait…I do remember the twins saying something that something was replaced…oh.

* * *

  
_Hey Namsy! ;D Did'ja like the clothes? Me and Xion picked them especially for you! For formal parties, dates, you have been exclusively given these clothes for your daily use!_

_P.S: Those are from the Tiffany Labelle Fashions. Mom's designs. Extremely expensive. Take care of those!_

_\- Lots and lots of love, **Kairi** and **Xion**_   


* * *

Ohhhh.  
  
Well. No use crying over spilt milk right? I just shrugged and took out a random blouse, skirt and some modest sandals they charitably gave me. I tried it on, the smooth feel of the silk felt snug on the bodice and I turned the slightest bit to zip the zipper of the skirt up, and placed the sandals on. I turned and looked at my reflection in the mirror.  
  
I smiled. Whoa. I look…nice. Maybe I should really start experimenting with clothes and accessories.  
  
Karu rubbed his body on my legs, and I giggled as I picked him up.   
  
"Hey there Karu. Good morning!" He meowed and leaned forward to lick my nose. It's his way of saying good morning. "You know what we're having for breakfast today? Pancakes!"  
  
Pancake with whipped cream and strawberries are the best.

* * *

*RING RING*  
  
Bloody hell.  
  
"Hello, welcome to the Fair Enterprises. How may I—"  
  
 _ **"VANITAS!"**_ a painfully shrilly voice shouted over the line. Oh no. Not this again. I twitched and slammed the phone down, wondering how in hell did those screaming banshees obtain the Fair Enterprises number. My 'boss' was such a womanizer. Oh well. In about a year, I'd finally be free from my debt! And I'd get to see my beloved Mazda again! I grinned at the thought. Working here at the FE isn't exactly easy, especially since I'm rather inexperienced with call centers, but after grueling a few weeks of getting it together, I now got used to all the mothereffin bossy coworkers, slippery floors, and a flirty boss.  
  
I looked left and right. Nobody's here. I grinned. I gleefully pulled out a sketchbook from a drawer on my desk. It's actually old, and I haven't used it again after graduating fine arts at a university. I graduated fine arts to be an artist yet I was sidetracked to this. But I was kinda expecting that. Not all the things we want are to be followed. That, my friends, is called 'irony'.  
  
"Whoa. I didn't know you could draw."  
  
Tsk. Why couldn't he leave me alone? Vanitas was standing behind me, an amused smirk on his handsome (I admit it, shut up) face. Why didn't I hear him? Oh that's right, I get totally lost whenever I draw. Then I noticed what I drew…or rather, WHO.  
  
"Hah." he crossed his arms. "You really love me don't you? Thanks for making me extra gorgeous." he snickered. I drew this douche without realizing it. I quickly flipped to a blank page to prevent his head getting even more bigger. He's hanging around me like a leech these past few days.  
  
"No I don't. You wish. That was Sora." I snorted. I tried to lie. I really did.  
  
"And—" he blinked. What? What is it now? "Stand up, will you?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I said, you deaf woman, 'Stand up, will you?'"  
  
"Why should I?" I replied, crossing my arms.  
  
He rolled his eyes and grabbed my hand before forcing me up. Vanitas slowly turned me, you know, like when you spin your partner during a dance, but slower. A smirk appeared on his face. I think I wanna bash that face on a wall now, then, I am going to make him drink his own blood and make him choke it back so I'll force him to drink it again!  
  
"Someone's looking nice today~"  
  
"S-shut up." I was blushing. "I had no choice."  
  
"Whatever." he tugged at my hand hard, and of course, clumsy ol' me tumbled into him like a pathetic ragdoll as he held me against his chest. I smell manly cologne here…Old Spice I think? "Well, honey, I ain't complaining. Like I said before, you look sexy."  
  
"And you still look like douche." I replied, still blushing before I pushed him back hard, but he held his grip on my waist. The douche was stronger than me.  
  
He chuckled. Oh god, that chuckle again. God, have mercy.  
  
"I have a task for you today."  
  
I eventually forced myself out of his grasp. I saw Olette trying to muffle her squeals by burying her face in her hands. I sat back down.  
  
"Yes sir douche?"  
  
Vanitas smirked. "Go with me to the Badlands."  
  
Cue jawdrop.  
  
"What? Why?"  
  
"To relieve stress of course."  
  
"And so you risk life?"  
  
"YOLO, honey." he smirked.  
  
"Shut up." he smirked wider.  
  
"Love you too. Now let's go."  
  
"Wait—" he was already dragging me away. "What about work? What about—"  
  
"I'm the prez, my dear secretary. I don't have to stay and be cooped in this tiny company and dilly-dally."  
  
He is impossible.  
  
"Now let's go."  
  
"Can't we just shoot things or something?"  
  
"Next time then."  
  
"Shoot people?" I asked hopefully. Vanitas just rolled his eyes and patted my head.  
  
"For a woman, you're really morbid."  
  
"Psh."  
  
"I like that."  
  
And off we went.

* * *

The Badlands is one bad-ass badlands. (Bad pun intended.)  
  
Naminé would admit that the smell of leather, fuel and oil felt hypnotizing to her sense of smell. She looked around with complete interest, seeing other people here. Some were already on the tracks, riding with the wind and going as far as jumping over mini-hills as if flying like…err, was it motocross? Whoa, her boss could motocross? Oh well. Seeing is believing. Naminé crossed her arms and shifted her weight from one foot to another.  
  
"Then what?"  
  
Vanitas rolled his eyes and dumped his blazer on her arms, revealing a small v-neck grey shirt and his usual necklace. Naminé huffed in irritation, fixing the suit with barely suppressed urge to smell it. It smelt divine. He pushed up his sleeves more upwards to his elbows, cracking his fists as he reached for a pair of gloves and a helmet. Some girl in a tracksuit handed him a pair of keys, and he finally dragged Naminé with him to a sleek, black and red motorcycle. His signature colors. Naminé rolled her eyes.  
  
"You're doing suicide."  
  
"YOLO honey." he smirked.  
  
"Shut up, will you?"  
  
"I did motocross for 5 years now without any casualties. And I'm doing suicide now?"  
  
Naminé twitched. "Oh, I'm sorry. Did I know?"  
  
"No."  
  
He jammed the key into the ignition and placed the helmet, the gloves, replaced his high-quality leather shoes for some safety boots and a chest protector, Naminé saw that a chair had been laid down behind her, so she sat down and placed his jacket on her lap, suppressing to urge to put it on and rub her face on it. How come he smelt so good? Naminé pursed her lips and sighed.  
  
"Hey."  
  
Naminé looked up just in time as he hurled his phone at her, the blonde barely catching it. She glared at the man.  
  
"What now?"  
  
"I gave it you. I'm going for a rather 'suicidal' cross. You're my secretary—my assistant. What do you think? Hold it."  
  
"W-whatever! Just go you idiot. I don't need to have your attention at all." she snorted.  
  
"Whatever, hun. See you later~" he winked before placing down the visor of the (pretty pretty) shiny helmet and going off with speed more than 100 km/s. Left alone, Naminé began to sift through his phone.  
  
The woman grinned evilly. 'I wonder what he has in here…' she thought. She looked through his gallery first, leaving when she saw nothing. Next, the music section. Her eyes sparkled with joy—it was filled with hard rock and metal.   
  
She looked back to her boss, catching him doing a u-turn and a wheelie. 'Shit. That stuff's dangerous!'  
  
Naminé looked back down to the device in her hands.  
  
What's left was the messages option.  
  
Cue evil grin and evil laugh.  
  
Let the hunger games begin.

* * *

 **Inbox messages (3582):**  
  
 **Elena (42)** \- View conversation?  
 _+Stop bugging me!_  
  
 **Sora (100+)** \- View conversation?  
 _+Vanitas, where the hell is my lu..._  
  
 **Penelo (28)** \- View conversation?  
 _-We all know you have the hots f..._  
  
 **Garnet (20)** \- View conversation?  
 _+I WANT ZIDANE BACK._  
  
 **Grell (74)** \- View conversation?  
 _-I will NOT marry you. No._  
  
 **Elizabeth (12)** \- View conversation?  
 _-You're crazy._  
  
 **UNKNOWN (100+)** \- View conversation?  
 _-FUCK. OFF._  
  
 _See more conversations..._

* * *

 

View your conversation with Elena Minerva?  
  
Yes? [x] No? []

* * *

**Elena Minerva**

Elena: Bastard. I told you to get rid of those old middle school pictures.  
  
You: Nah. You look cute. And why should I?  
  
Elena: Because I told you so. Delete it. NOW.  
  
You: Try me sweetheart.  
  
You: You can't even hurt a single fly if you wanted to. Heh~  
  
Elena: I hate you.  
  
Elena: So much.  
  
Elena: Go choke on your dick.  
  
You: Love you too hun.  
  
You: And honey, I not that flexible enough to deep throat myself. Why don't YOU do it?  
  
Elena: In your face you sick bastard!  
  
 _View more conversation..._

* * *

View your conversation with Sora Fair?  
  
Yes? [x] No? []

* * *

**Sora Fair**

Sora: You ate my oreos.  
  
You: So?  
  
You: You left them at the table. So, naturally, I have to come and eat them.  
  
Sora: They were my LAST BATCH of OREOS! -.-  
  
You: And so? You can always buy another pack.  
  
Sora: BITCH YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.  
  
Sora: I STOLE THOSE (DELICIOUS) OREOS FROM ALICE.  
  
Sora: AND I'M PRETTY FUCKED IF SHE STARTS TO NOTICE A MAJOR MAJOR DECREASE ON HER SWEETS.  
  
You: And that's my problem because...?  
  
Sora: YOU FUCKING ATE THEM YOU BASTARD! YOU WERE MY BROTHER! I LOVED YOU! DDDDDDD:  
  
You: There's still Nutella cake on the fridge, moron.  
  
Sora: Did I ever mention that I love you so freaking much? :DDDDDDD  
  
Sora: Love you bro!  
  
You: Go away.  
  
 _View more conversation..._

* * *

View your conversation with Penelo Taber?  
  
Yes? [x] No? []

* * *

**Penelo Taber**

You: Hey.  
  
Penelo: Hi Vanitas. What's up? =)  
  
Penelo: If you're looking for Vaan he's at work.  
  
You: Not looking for your boyfriend.  
  
You: I'm bored.  
  
You: Entertain me.  
  
Penelo: You talk as if you're my master or something. Well you're not. Ha ha.  
  
You: Entertain me woman.  
  
Penelo: Let's play a guessing game then. I'm kinda bored too now that you mention it.  
  
Penelo: So...let's start! You go first!  
  
You: Fine. Men like me use it from time to time. It makes entry more easy. We also use it for a "massage."  
  
You: Your guess?  
  
Penelo: Not sure though...but I have 3 guesses!  
  
You: Shoot them.  
  
You: I'll give you the right answer after you say them.  
  
Penelo: Um...first is... an ID?  
  
Penelo: You said massage, so oil?  
  
Penelo: Or is it lotion?  
  
You: Wrong. It's lube.  
  
Penelo: WTF!? OMG Vanitas! D: Yuck!  
  
 _View more conversation..._

* * *

View your conversation with Garnet Alexandros?  
  
Yes? [x] No? []

* * *

**Garnet Alexandros**

Garnet: ...  
  
You: What?  
  
You: Want some cookie?  
  
Garnet: ...no.  
  
You: Then what the hell do you want?  
  
Garnet: I WANT MY RADIO BACK.  
  
Garnet: I WANT MY TV BACK.  
  
Garnet: I WANT MY MONKEY PLUSHIE BACK.  
  
You: No, no and NO.  
  
You: Cousin, you're getting too obsessed with this Zido guy (or something like that) You did nothing but listen to his boring voice on TV and radio. And you wouldn't even let go of that stupid plushie he gave away for fan service.  
  
Garnet: GIVE THEM BACK YOU TRAITOR! And it's ZIDANE!  
  
You: You can kiss my ass. No. Whatever.  
  
Garnet: Vanitas! DDDDDDDDDDD: Please!?  
  
You: No, SARAH.  
  
You: You can only have them back when you're cooled down from the sugar rush.  
  
View more conversation...

* * *

View your conversation with Grell Sutcliffe?  
  
Yes? [x] No? []

* * *

**Grell Sutcliffe**

Grell: Vanitas~

Grell: Vani~  
  
Grell: Van~  
  
Grell: Vanini~  
  
You: WHAT. DO. YOU. WANT. YOU HOMOSEXUAL BASTARD!?  
  
Grell: Awwwwwwwwwww :33 Don't talk like that~Sebby-chan's ignoring me again so I'll just go chat with you~  
  
You: More like disturb me  
  
You: Sebastian probably doesn't want to see your ugly face.  
  
You: Hah.  
  
Grell: !? That's not true! D:  
  
Grell: If he wouldn't, we wouldn't have spent a wonderful, passionate and romantic night under the stars under a palm tree! :"3  
  
You: You took ADVANTAGE of him you freak.  
  
You: I so did NOT want to remember that :X  
  
You: You're disgusting.  
  
Grell: No I'm not! Unless you want a threesome? ;D  
  
You: DEAR MOTHER OF GOD SAVE ME FROM THIS GAY PEDOPHILE.  
  
Grell: ;D You know you want to!  
  
View more conversation...

* * *

Naminé was nearing to tears by the time she reached the end of this "Grell"'s messages. Her stomach hurt from laughing too much, ignoring the fact that people were currently staring at her rather weird behavior. Oh, this was so epic! This was so going to her blog later. Naminé grinned as her shoulders were once again wracked with uncontrollable giggles and snickers, scrolling down to see more messages Vanitas had.

* * *

View your conversation with Elizabeth Middleford?  
  
Yes? [x] No? []

* * *

**Elizabeth Middleford**

You: Yo.  
  
Elizabeth: Yes? o.o  
  
You: When are you planning to haul ass?  
  
Elizabeth: Never. I think I'm gonna cancel out...  
  
You: Sucks then.  
  
Elizabeth: Hmm? Why?  
  
Elizabeth: Heeeeeey~you there?  
  
You: You sure you don't want to join us?  
  
Elizabeth: Ciel wouldn't be joining us anyway. What's the point?  
  
You: Change of plans. Mr. Vincent let him.  
  
Elizabeth: On my way~ :DDDDD  
  
You: You're crazy.

* * *

View your conversation with Mom?  
  
Yes? [x] No? []

* * *

**Mom**

You: Mom, when are you and dad coming home again?  
  
You: Somewhere in October right?  
  
Mom: I'm not sure yet, dear.  
  
Mom: It's only tentative.  
  
Mom: I think it's on the 12th though. Why do you ask?  
  
You: I'm making OETHCFH.  
  
Mom: OETHCFH? Can you please explain that?  
  
You: Operation Escape The Hell Cat From Hell.  
  
Mom: What?  
  
You: HER, mom. HER.  
  
You: Besides…I never even agreed to this retarded arranged marriage. We live in the 21st century mom! Not in the olden days!  
  
Mom: Vanitas Regis Leith Fair.  
  
Mom: Whether you like it or not, you WILL marry her. Why don't you like to marry a beautiful and smart girl like her?  
  
You: Stop it mom. I don't want to.  
  
Mom: You have to. You NEED to. It's for the sake of the company and the family.  
  
You: That's what you always say. Why can't I have my OWN choice for once?  
  
You: I'm not a fucking puppet to control and manipulate. _  
_

* * *

 _'I'm not a fucking puppet to control and manipulate.'_  
  
The words kept flashing in Naminé's mind. She considered about stopping her message reading from that point. Why? Because she felt like she was invading his family matters. And she had no right to either since she was just the girl who crashed into his car and now works for him so she could pay her debt.  
  
However, as hard as she tried, Naminé couldn't. Her curiosity always got her in trouble, but being curious is a part of everyone's lives right? Naminé glanced at Vanitas. He was temporarily standing by, dirt staining his clothes (they look expensive too. Ouch.) and perspiration dripping from his forehead as he drank some bottled water. He looked so hot. Naminé blushed furiously and slapped herself. Now's not the time for God's sake!  
  
 _ **/He's still hot though~/** _ Dark Inner Nami sighed, perching herself on Naminé's shoulder, her bat wings flapping joyously.  
  
 _'Oh shut it!'_ Naminé returned her gaze to the phone in her hands. _'Well…not like he isn't before…'_  
  
 ** _/Hah! She admits it!/_** Inner Nami cheered.  
  
 _'Arrgghh…shut up inner me…'_  
  
 ** _/Who wouldn't have the hots for him? I mean, look at that lustrous raven locks! I would KILL to run my hands through them!/_**  
  
Naminé swatted her inner away and continued reading on, cheeks still heating up.

* * *

View your conversation with UNKNOWN?  
  
Yes? [x] No? []

* * *

**UNKNOWN NUMBER**

?: Heeey! :')  
  
You: Who are you?  
  
?: I'd like you to guess! ;D  
  
You: I will not fucking do a guessing game here, stranger.  
  
?: Awwwwww  
  
?: C'mon! So easy!  
  
?: Hurry up!  
  
You: No.  
  
?: Why not?  
  
You: Because fuck you, that's why.  
  
?: You're so mean! It's ME Vanitas! D:  
  
You: Oh God a stalker.  
  
?: Honeybunch~don't be like that! You ARE my fiancée!  
  
You: …  
  
You: …'Elie?  
  
?: :D  
  
You: Fuck.  
  
?: :3 ?  
  
You: How did you get my number? This is a private number for fuck's sake!  
  
?: Heehee~auntie gave it to me so we could be in touch! :3333 I'm so excited to see you again Van-Van! :3333  
  
You: Fuck off. Don't ever text or call me again.  
  
?: Even if you block or delete this number, I could always use another people's phones~  
  
You: Bitch please. Security option.  
  
?: Whatever you say, Vani~whatever you say~

* * *

"Naminé."  
  
Said blonde gasped in surprise as she heard her name being said, followed by the thumping down of safety caps, helmets and caps and Vanitas planting face-first to the ground before her. Naminé gawked at him disbelievingly, half shocked and half torn on laughing her head off.  
  
Naminé rushed forward to help him up. "You look like shit." she bluntly noted, grinning.  
  
"No, I look like a fucking prince." said Vanitas, rolling his eyes.  
  
"What happened? You look pretty beat."  
  
He snorted, rolling over and thus, behold oh Vanitas' dirt-stained face! Naminé giggled.  
  
"I was showing you my awesome skills." he said proudly, crossing his arms.  
  
3 big dots followed by a large question mark passed through Naminé's head.  
  
"…you were?"  
  
"Yep." he smirked. "Liked the show honey?"  
  
"Err…" she sheepishly scratched her head. "I guess." She WAS reading his messages, so…  
  
"Hey."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Carry me to the locker rooms."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"So I can freshen up."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I smell and look like shit. That's why."  
  
"Ohhh…"  
  
"Well?"  
  
"No."  
  
Naminé laughed when he growled and glared at her from his pathetic place down on the ground. Oh how she wanted to crush that (handsome) face down on the ground! The urge was so strong. Naminé pulled on his outstretched hands and pulled him up to his feet, guiding him to the men's locker room. She sighed in relief to find it empty.  
  
"Now. Go wash up. I'll be outside."  
  
"Nope." Vanitas tutted and grabbed her shoulders, forcing her down the benches provided.  
  
"What the hell?" Naminé scowled.  
  
"You, are staying here. RIGHT here."  
  
"And do nothing?"  
  
He tossed her a pair of earphones he got from script editor Kurou and went inside the shower stall. Naminé simply gaped as he threw his soiled clothes out. Naminé huffed in irritation and picked them up, dumping them in the laundry basket.  
  
"Do you even have any spare clothes here?" Naminé questioned.  
  
"Of course". He snorted. She could practically hear him roll is eyes. "Who do you think I am?"  
  
"An arrogant lothario?" Naminé grinned, placing the earphones on.  
  
"Am not. Just a normal guy with money and attractive looks."  
  
"No you're not."  
  
"Are too."  
  
"Are not."  
  
"Love you."  
  
"Love you too—hey!" Naminé blushed furiously, and he laughed on the other side of the shower. "This isn't fair game!"  
  
"I don't remember playing a game with you."  
  
"Quit playing games with me!"  
  
"I'm not!"  
  
The running water stopped, and Naminé got an inkling feeling he was going to slam open that door in his naked glory, so she "eeped", shut her eyes and jabbed a towel to the stall door just in time for the glass door to open.  
  
"I'm not ugly to look at. Open your eyes Nami."  
  
"No! Or I'll never be married again!"  
  
"Bitch please." He snatched the towel from her hands and smirked. "I'm the one who's going to marry you anyway. Would you like that?"  
  
"No." she squeaked, standing up and turning her back on him, not wanting to see a GLORIOUSLY GLORIOUS naked Vanitas because there is nothing more hot than seeing water running down an attractive man's body. She bit her lip and blushed more fiercely.  
  
"Huh?" Vanitas raised a brow at her bashfulness, his spikes tamed down from its dampness, making the tendrils stick to his face. 'What's wrong with her?' He looked at her tense posture, her shoulders, and her knees. Then it all clicked.  
  
Ohhh.  
  
Vanitas chuckled to himself. The girl had never seen a half-naked, let alone full-on nude man. Which means—she~is~a~virgin~! Vanitas grinned in amusement.   
  
"Hey."  
  
No answer.  
  
"Heeey~"  
  
"W-what?" she scoffed.  
  
She froze and took in a sharp gush of breath when his cold arms came to rest upon her shoulders, his nose nuzzling her neck.  
  
"U—uh—" she was completely and utterly speechless. Yup. Still definitely pure.  
  
Naminé wished she could move. She really did. But noooo, her traitorous and lecherous body defied her protests to break free and stayed stock-still.  
  
"Why so shy?" he drawled into her ear.  
  
"What are you talking about?" she scoffed and crossed her arms, cheeks red.  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
Naminé tensed when his arms slipped down to her waist. His naked (and wet) chest pressed against her back, making her twitch in annoyance.  
  
"I'm not saying anything."  
  
"Technically, you are…" she trailed off when she left her shirt hitch up. "Hey what the fu—"  
  
"Say, why don't we—! Fuck!" Vanitas shrieked (A MANLY SHRIEK) when her fist met his cheek, making him step back.  
  
"Bastard." the blonde growled and stalked off, face red and breathing hard.  
  
Her body language betrayed her expression though. Vanitas noted. She DID like that.  
  
Naminé had stomped all the way to the entrance of the Badlands in a furious gait. I see no reason why though! Being held like that…Naminé wanted to gush and puke at the same time. Besides, he was getting her drenched! Not in a gutteral way alright!? To gush—because he was attractive and fresh from the shower dammit. To puke—well…he IS a womanizer. That is a major major MAJOR turn-off. In Naminé's point of view.  
  
 _'There is absolutely no fucking way I will marry that douche!'_  she huffed, crossing her arms by the entrance, remembering his words.  
  
Wait.  
  
Marry…her mind instantly reeled back to the messages in his phone, more on towards the Mom and Unknown part. So he has a fiancée already! Huh…hah! He didn't tell Naminé that. Naminé snapped her fingers, grinning. 'I am so going to tell this future Mrs. Fair on what he's been doing!' Her imagination was perfect—Fiancée comes, Nami shows her evidences of Vanitas' unfaithful acts, fiancée will be angry at Vanitas, Vanitas will fall apart from sadness and despair! And Nami shall get praised by the fiancée for being a "spy" and then she'll get a promotion and then she'll be famous and then she can crush Vanitas' ugly face down the dirt! It's a foolproof plan!  
  
Though…Naminé could only wonder.  
  
Who is his fiancé even?


	13. Annoyance Issues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't really looking at the road I was driving. And when you don't look at the road when you drive, it leads to accidents. Accidents means trouble. And trouble means debt. And debt means you would have to pay for the damages. So when I suddenly crashed into the back of a black Hummer, I knew I was in trouble. Uh-oh...
> 
> Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix

**Episode XIII - Annoyance Issues**

* * *

It's one of those mornings that I wake up in a nice mood. Where the air is chilly and nice, when the coffee tasted the best, when the water was at the right temperature when I jumped in the shower, and when the train ride to the company wasn't crowded and stuffy. It is also when a cute blonde with green eyes are the ones that serve me my usual to-go Latte, and have a nice sub receptionist to greet me down at the lobby of the FE.  
  
It's also one of those rare, happy times when there are fewer people around, no bitchy coworkers, and there are less calls. So fewer calls = less work = more free time! I couldn't help but grin as I plugged in my headset and listened to some Colbie Caillat for a my daily jumpstart. I crossed my legs, finding it a bit difficult because of the thigh-hugging skirt I wore today. Ergh. Never mind.  
  
Olette was too busy today to chat, but I didn't feel lonely at all. In fact, I don't really feel talking today. Must be because the used-to be glass walls behind me had been renovated a few weeks ago due to…err…an accident involving flying staplers, and a coffee mishap. So yes, the glass is now cement—painted maroon of course. The prick has an obsession for red. And black.  
  
Going back, I would've drawn instead, buuut I'm having a shitty art block. I can't think of something! Which is very weird! Arrrgh! I took a sip out of my latte sighing. What is up with me today? Is it because I stayed up late popping bubble wrap while looking through 9GAG? Gah! Darn. I down the cup of latte and sighed again.  
  
When was the last time I was this bored again?  
  
You…yes, you there. The one reading/watching me bore my guts out…I am now going to think about the people in my life (the good, the bad, and the uglies) now, so, be attentive!  
  
First off, my wonderful best friend Kairi. Hmm…she's the sassy, girly-girl type. Your typical Kairi in every AU-setting of some fan fics. She loves to shop, hang out (with me and Xion), or if she gets tired of it all, she and I have our traditional friday movie night. This late night movie marathon has been going on since we were 10. Kinda awesome huh? She also likes to get into relationships but too often she's the one getting broken-hearted. This "heartbreak" lasts for about 3 days and after that period of time, you can see her running up and about like nothing happened to her. I think you know her well enough, so I don't think further introductions are necessary. But I do wonder why she looks so happy these days. Was it because she's in-love again? I hope not! I don't wanna get fat despite my love of sweets.  
  
Xion. My best friend's younger twin. Of course, since they're twins, she's also a bit girly. I don't understand why most of her things and clothes were black though. So much black I'm jelly. She's this sweet, soft-spoken girl with a heart of gold. She may look frail from afar but trust me; she's a black belt in karate. And she's insanely good at kendo as well. I remember the time I got harassed and bullied on our junior high days, Xion snapped and used a super awesome move (I dunno what it's called though) that included grabbing the bully's arm and slamming him down to his back. Ouch. Being the concerned friend, she offered to teach me some basic karate, but I refused. I don't want to burden her. Right. Now…she's also Roxas' fiancée. They'll be married. Honestly, I don't really care anymore, but it stung a little that Xion and Kairi didn't tell me. I'm sure I've been the last to know…oh! The pain of betrayal! …that sounded…retarded. I knew they did for my sake since I wasn't a bit over about our bad break-up, but really. Xion didn't need to hide it. I'd understand, after all.  
  
I shove the cookie in my mouth.  
  
We move on to my family. First off, daddy. I'm 24 yet I still call him "daddy". His name is Rufus Shinra, ex-president of the Shinra Corporations in-hiding from my evil, evil, EVIL grandparents. I shall retell you the grandest tale of all time. Before I was born to this world, the Shinra Corporations was the biggest and riches company of all time, the Fair Enterprises just coming close second. During that time, Ansem Shinra, my grandfather, had been the president of the SC. Standing beside him always was his wife, my grandmother, Maleficent. From what mom told me, they were cold, harsh, and aggressively competitive. When daddy was 15, he met mommy in high school. My mother, Yvonne AKA Shoko, was just a scholarship student, accepted into Materia Academia because of her potential. They fell in-love, though mommy was the one who admitted it first. My dad's a stubborn mule. When dad was finally president, daddy introduced mommy to parents, parents didn't like her for she had no fortune whatsoever, dad disowned himself, dad and mom went to the secluded and isolated town of Midgar, and there Tidus and I was born. We hid under Ridley, so, we can avoid suspicion. So far, it's all going well! Now we're being hunted down, dead or alive. Geez, why won't just they give up!  
  
I grab a marshmallow.  
  
Next, we move to…err, Roxas. We already know who this sucker is. My ex-high school sweetheart. How we met is where you'd never expect—the janitor's closet. Let me tell you the old, old tale from Pandora's Box. That day was when Xion and Kairi were out on a family trip. It's the same day that left me rather vulnerable, so the bullies, AKA the Mean Girls, had the golden opportunity to bully me. I don't understand why though. I didn't even do anything to those bitches. Anyway…so poor ol' pathetic me ran to my sanctuary while covered with chalk dust—head to toe too!—. I wasn't expecting to see that there was someone else in the janitor's closet until I heard some boy's voice saying if I was okay. Looked up from crying, and there I saw a concerned Roxas looking at me. Apparently, he was hiding from our rather persistent French teacher. We bonded, and that's where our strange friendship began. 2 years later, he courted me. Then after 4 months, after seeking advice from my besties, I said yes to him. Apparently he had no sense of public reactions and jumped up and down on the bleachers where we were sitting on, yelling "Yes!" repeatedly like a cassette tape, catching the attention of the students who were there. So then, we went on dates, camps, trips, la de la de blah! And after that, we broke up over Facebook. I guess it was inevitable…like food with its expiration date. Once it lasts for too long, it expires and you can't eat it anymore. Whoa! I made an awesome simile! …no.  
  
Let us go to his older brother, Ventus. Exclusive! I'm gonna tell you a teensy-weensy secret! Want to hear it? Yes? Kay—I used to have a crush on him. Yeah yeah. It's nothing big. Just a small ounce of adoration and admiration. I mean, aren't all crushes like that? Alright. Ventus, or Ven as he preferred, is older than Roxas by 3 minutes. I have known before that they were rich, but I wasn't expecting the Hyde Blondes to be related to the Fair Brothers! Cousins! Remember the time in Chapter 5? Yeah. The Catty-Eyed Douche called Ven "cousin". See? Oh yeah, another thing—Ven is the "stick-to-one" type. No wonder he and his girlfriend lasted so long together. I'd like a guy like that…  
  
Vanitas. The devil, your personal Satan, the narcissistic bastard, the dickhead, the jerkwad, the douche, the boss. Yeah. I think I gave out all my names for him. I think God has a very good sense of humor because he made me crash into that Hummer. God just had to make me keep away my phone, so I could be distracted and crash into him! God! Why! I never sinned! I kept humble and good! Why am I stuck with this homo sapien? Tell me why! Oh god, if only I didn't crash into him that fateful day…if only I wasn't blonde…if only I didn't answer that dumb retarded Larxene's call…oh wait, I think I'm sort of glad I DID crash into this douche's car and life. Why? Oh no, don't you guys dare give me that knowing grin—Larxene was a horrible boss! She didn't even give me my paycheck when she cruelly and heartlessly fired me so I wouldn't get anymore money rendering my other savings utterly useless because I still can't see my dearly beloved family and I'm running out of breath saying all these bull but that's impossibru because I'm thinking hard and deep right now and I probably sound stupid so I'll shut up now. NO. Now let's move to the more positive aspects about him. Alright, he's attractive. That, is a painful fact. I'm not going to deny it anymore. Saying that he's uglier than a Satyr would be like saying that a princess is a peasant. No, would you take a look at those lustrous raven locks that spiked in every possible way? Then those alluring golden eyes—dear God, they are so GOLD it's almost amber. And amber happens to be my favorite jewel. It doesn't stop there—his arms. I blush as I recall that moment. He hugged me. Again. He. Hugged. Me. With his strong and muscular arms that dripped with water. Water. Water…cue very, very red cheeks. Did I already say that he looked so fucking hot coming out fresh from the shower? Regardless of his…unlikable personality and nature (womanizer, womanizer), he's actually not that bad…if you just take away the flirtation and the manwhoreness…He's quite creative, crafty, charismatic, CHARMING even. And I never thought I'm going to use the Four Sacred C's on him. Roxas only had the charisma and the charm. Vanitas had the FOUR. God. My ranting about this prissy boss of mine escalated quite quickly. But he's still a jerk. And a handsome prick.  
  
"Hmm…first, you insult me AND THEN compliment me. That's a bit low ain't it not?"  
  
And of course every cliché plot has a cliché moment. I look up.  
  
There's amber eyes, staring at me like he'd been sitting in my receiving chair for quite a while. Yes, you don't need to ask that if I am completely mortified or shocked that he's there because I already am. He smirked at me, his gorgeous eyes narrowing from mischief. I had the strangest urge to pounce on him and kiss him senseless…I dunno. Don't ask me.  
  
"…"  
  
"I've been sitting here trying to gain your attention for…hmm…oh yes, 15 minutes." he lazily grinned. "Wat'cha thinking about honey?"  
  
"Why Pikachu is yellow."  
  
He laughed, and I swear it's the most beautiful sound on Earth. No kidding.  
  
"Pikachu's yellow because Arceus' piss is yellow."  
  
"Ohhh, is that why the other yellow Pokémons are like that?"  
  
"At least that's what I think." he smirked, standing up and hauling my ass off my chair. "I think you deserve a reward for saying I'm a 'handsome prick'."  
  
"I did NOT say you were handsome." I said innocently. "I said you were a 'troublesome prick' because that's what you are."  
  
"Nope. I just had my ear check-up days ago. So I heard you correctly." I scoffed at his remark. "I win, bitch."  
  
"Only this round."  
  
And off to Starbucks we went.


End file.
